


The UnKnown

by JaqlinTraid



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Mystery, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-04-28 10:29:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5087230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaqlinTraid/pseuds/JaqlinTraid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second chance? Let's try a third. Shepard makes a deal with the crucibles' AI to give her one final chance in defeating the Reapers and setting things right. Even with low odds, Shepard has a few tricks up her sleeve and with the help of the Shadow Broker things are going to start heating up. Alternate Universe Setting</p><p>Fluff between some of the pairings. I wonder who will end up with whom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_Take a deep breath._

 Talon Shepard spared a glance over her shoulder, ensuring that no one else but Admiral Anderson's corpse remained behind her.

This had been a long stretch. She knew she'd failed once again. The Reapers triumphed and took over Earth, destroyed Thessia and wiped out the majority of the Council races. Somehow, they were able to send the Crucible crashing down into the ruins of London. Considering its fall, it being in one piece could be considered a miracle...if you weren't asking the people on the ground.

She had taken a few more precautions before embarking on the suicide mission again. Heavier armor and shields, upgraded her combat and defense drones, but Anderson didn't make it, _again_ , and she was still injured, (although not as bad as last time) there was no need for her to subject herself to mortal wounds if it would only cost her more time than she cared to waste.

"Damn it." Her eyes narrowed at the doors ahead. It didn't matter how many times she'd seen this happen, how many times she walked through that door and began a descent into her own personal hell, watching Anderson die was hard, but no matter what she could never convince the Admiral to stay behind and let her handle it things once boots touched the ground. What kind of a leader would he be if he were to let her march in there and take all the glory? That had been his excuse anyway. She couldn’t very well tell him she’d be going in to never come back out. He’d have had her retained and gone in there himself.

There would be no more Reaper foot soldiers to fight here. All that awaited would be inside that door was the AI that had thrown her into this hell hole in the first place. She couldn't waste any more time thinking about one of the few men who had been like a father figure to her, didn't have time to worry if Garrus, who had made sure to clear the way for her through a wave of husks in that last push, was alive.

Opening the door to the inner chambers, all she could think about was making sure she had one more chance. She had to convince the AI one more time that this universe was worth saving.

"You failed Commander Shepard, just as I thought you would." the voice was that of a child, strange and devoid of emotion. His appearance that of a small boys wearing dark jeans and a white hoodie. The boy she had failed she save before. He’d told her that she couldn’t save him, and each time he had been right.

He wouldn't even look her way. Instead he worked on a console in front of him, Already Shepard could feel the-all-too-familiar movement that meant the Crucible would be moving from the crater it created on Earth and flying backwards quickly into its orbit. Shepard could just see it's innocent smile as it said, "Shall we try this again?"

_That's right. This is all a game to you. So you could have the world you wanted. "I know who you are," Shepard said simply, tired but determined._

The child looked up from its console, having finished what it was set out to do. "Oh? Then I guess it's time to start off with a clean slate and destroy this universe. Initiating - "

"Wait!" Shepard held (up a hand), holding her breath. When the child didn't continue she exhaled and nervously licked her lips. "I want to make a deal," she offered, gathering her courage.

The AI remained silent for a moment, "If you want to make a deal..." it paused, "then you would be reacting outside what I could predict. What is your desire? If you knew who I was..." it amended, "Then you would understand why I'm doing what I'm doing, with your knowledge you should want to destroy what I am now."

"Not necessarily. I've gone back in time three times now, and fought the Reapers four. Every time, I saw my comrades die, my planet taken, my..." She hesitated, sucking in a breath. "I want to go back. But I can't continue playing this game, being a part of your experiment. You knew from the first time we met," she spat, "that the knowledge you gave me would ensure that I continued to fail." .

The AI remained silent.

"Allow me to add my own variables." Shepard placed a hand on her hip.

"Interesting." it responded, almost instantly. "and what other variables would you need?"

"Only two." Shepard grinned. "First, I want my omni-tool to include all the data that's inside it now."

"And the other?" it asked after a second of consideration.

Shepard began to move towards the platform in front of her. Looking ahead, there were three pillars, each with something like a laser radiating upwards. One red, one blue, one green. She walked towards the blue light, with no hesitation. "My memory," she continued, "I want it altered. If it's connected to the Reapers or to Cerberus - the death of my friends, the fate of Earth if I fail, events leading to the death of my teammates, all the people that I failed - I want it gone. Completely." 

"It is true, I have sent you without the intentions of succeeding, but the knowledge I provided should not have been a hindrance. If I do this, then I won't be able to send you back another time should you fail."

"That's because you've spent too much time as a machine." Shepard closed her eyes and sighed. Opening them again, (she stared) down the shaft at the blue light. "Knowing what happened put on too much pressure. I became too focused on saving lives, and not completing the mission. Or vice versa," she frowned. There had been no balance in her past choices. "I took shortcuts, made things worse than they were in the first place. I'm willing to risk it."

"I see.” the AI paused momentarily. “I will accept your requests. Prepare for transit."

Shepard took one last look out the window to her side. The Normandy flew within Earth's orbit, meeting up with a shuttle. She wondered numbly if maybe it was a rescue. She closed her eyes, spread her arms wide, and fell into the light.

The AI waited until her organic data had been fully disintegrated, then began the upload into the Crucible's mainframe and network. As it began to alter Shepard's memory, it understood why she had been so confident. "I see," the AI said quietly, its voice more mature now. Feminine. 

The AI was sure that no matter what happened this time, it would be the last time she would become the Catalyst. 

"Initiating self-destruct and overwrite sequence Phi."

The countdown began, and the AI pulled up a picture on a screen. It seemed so long ago that it had been taken. The smiles of the people she loved, reflecting her own wishes and desires at that time.

"You were wrong Talon Shepard. I have not forgotten what it is like to be human." she mused to herself.

 

 


	2. Chapter I

**Shepard**

 

"I may not know much about the beacons," a soft voice spoke, "but I've dedicated most of my life to researching the Protheans, studying their ways. If you allow me have access to your memories, I'll be able to help decipher the vision you saw on Eden Prime."

It sounded familiar, but everything was still black, now fuzzy, now very slowly coming into focus. "Liara...?" she half whispered wonderingly. A loud pop shot through her ears, flashes of light accompanying it, and then suddenly there was clarity.

She'd been holding her head, and felt her face stiffen with a grimace, eyes closing against the pain. "Huh..?" she gasped.

"Commander Shepard?"

Another familiar voice - male, but no alien undertone. Human then. Kaidan?

She opened an eye and looked to her left, the direction where the voice originated. "Kaidan," she smiled, quickly realizing that they weren't alone, but surrounded by Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Ashley and Liara. "I'm fine," she coughed quickly to cover her surprise. "Just a sudden headache." Her eyes traveled to Liara.

"I've been having them since Eden Prime," she continued, falling into tempo with the conversation and ignoring the strange stares.

Liara merely nodded, clearly nervous about being on the ship, surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces.

 _Crap, did we already kill Benezia? Usually I can remember what's already happened here, before I come to._ But it was all a blur. _Maybe a side effect from bringing something else back with me?_

"Yes," Liara replied quietly. "That beacon was a Prothean artifact. It could have been something that responded well with their own physiology, and it was surprisingly well intact. To say it gave you a vision and that you lived, despite the difference in species, is a wonder in and of itself. If you'll allow, I can also make sure it didn't cause any psychological damage. Anything beyond that would be better handled by Doctor Chakwas."

"From what I understood, Chakwas said the Commander was good to go," Garrus added.

"Yeah, she ran a scan right after extraction. The Commander didn't say anything about headaches though. " Kaidan stood from his seat and moved to the door. " Ma'am, if you want, I can run over to the med bay and bring Chakwas down. You looked pretty bad for a second there."

Shepard shook her head and waved him back to his seat, ignoring his concern. "I'm fine Kaidan, stand down.” She looked over to the young doctor . “Liara, if I agree to what you say, can we do this in the med bay? As you saw earlier, anything with my head has been a little unpredictable. I want to make sure Chakwas is there to help should something go wrong."

Liara agreed, nodding her head as she said, "That's quite understandable, Shepard. Usually the joining is more tiring for the one, uh.. _.initiating_ it, but it shouldn't hurt you."

"Then maybe you should lie down too, Liara. From what I remember, the two parties involved don't have to touch in order for it to work."

That earned a few stares from her human counter parts.

"Uh, Commander..." A male voice spoke over the intercom, "What's the point of the joining if you aren't going to actually... join with a hot asari."

Ashley covered her snicker with a cough. Wrex didn't even bother trying to hide it, mumbling, "Heated pyjak..." under his breath.

Shepard waited for a remark from EDI, and then remembered that this was the SR-1. _Actually I haven't seen her since my second go-round_... Although, at the moment, she couldn't remember why. "Joker! I see you're living up to the ol' nickname. Liara, I'll meet you in the med bay. Everyone else, dismissed."

Talon wasn't sure what was going on yet. Joker wasn't usually this open until after Noveria. Once they'd all made it out of that mess alive together, he'd told her about his training days in school. But now, she couldn't assume that things had happened in the same order. She would have to go in somewhat blind.

Shepard walked into the med bay, and noticed only one person waiting for her. "Where's Dr. Chakwas?" she asked, sitting on the gurney.

Liara pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed after Shepard lied down. "She went to check up on Joker, something about him skipping medications."

"Oh boy," Shepard giggled. "Let me guess, she went up there with a bag in tow?"

"I'm guessing this happens a lot?"

Talon looked over Liara, shoulders rigid, her blue eyes uncertain and only maintaining eye contact for a few seconds before darting away to glance all over the room. Though she always brought them back after a while to meet her gaze.

A part of her felt guilty for what she was about to do, and to be honest she wasn't quite sure if this would be the same as indoctrination. Forcing her own thoughts and ideals into someone else, essentially reprogramming them. Would Talon be no better than Saren if she did this? Opening and forcing the will of another into the young asari's mind, even if it was from the Liara in the future? A different future.

 

"From what I understand Commander, this wouldn't be the first time you've had this experience? I'm glad; most think what I'm about to do is only used for sexual pleasure. We asari have used the joining as a method of communication for a long time now. It's refreshing to meet a human who knows how it works. Makes things a little less awkward," she added with a smile, her eyes trusting.

Liara was nervous, and blushed when she noticed Shepard's intent stare. She wasn't adding anything else to the conversation, just staring the asari down with glowing green eyes.

"From my last experience..." Talon finally answered, "I was told it can be easier to decipher one's thoughts if the person in question has a root thought or word."

"Ah, y-yes," Liara nodded, taken aback by Shepard's knowledge of the situation.

"Good, I have one. Follow Glyph."

"Glyph? Is that supposed to mean something with the beacon? Were there writings you recognized?" her voice bubbled. "Prothean texts are very rare."

"I'll tell you all about it after we're done." Shepard closed her eyes and laid back.

Liara took mental note and closed her eyes, focusing. "Shepard, become one with the universe. _Embrace eternity_!"

 

**Liara**

 

_First, there was nothing._

_No that couldn't be right. Even with previous partners of the joining, she had never seen a mind that was absolutely nothing. No feelings, no emotion, no color, no thought; it was all black. She was in the dark._

 O _h, Liara had met strong minds before, those who were wary at first. But in those situations, there had been something that blocked her, a wall or lock, a symbol of some kind. It was then she remembered the anchor Shepard had given her. A simple key word._

 

 _Glyph. How strange was it that as soon as she thought the word herself, she felt..._ guilt?

_There was still darkness, but she could hear words now. Whispers._

_"Shepard, doing this could cause some serious mental damage. Are you sure this is the only way?" Liara recognized her own voice, but older somehow. That can't be possible, she thought. The asari hadn't met the commander before this day, but that was definitely her voice._

_Cautiously she pushed forward, imagining herself walking down a path; the voices acting as her guiding light._

_"I understand that you may think I'm crazy, but I'm telling the truth! Liara, I... I may not get another chance to do this right. Look in my mind, tell me I'm wrong," Shepard pleaded, obviously desperate._

_"It doesn't work that way, Shepard. However...you've never been wrong about the reapers before." She heard a sigh._

_There was a sudden flash, the darkness faded away, and Liara saw the two of them sitting in Shepard's quarters. No, this looked different somehow. They looked different, older._

 

_Before her sat Talon Shepard, her black hair longer and undone. Tight curls draped around her shoulders, vibrant green eyes battle worn and pleading. And the asari before her, standing now, close and looking down as Shepard remained seated. Her eyes were so cold. This wasn't someone that Liara ever wanted to be._

Is this my future? _she thought._

_"We failed, so you plan to back track into the past to change the future. You want me to hide the essence of my subconscious in your mind in the hopes it'll unlock memories, my personality when you see me... in the past?"_

_"I know it sounds...a little out there." The human shook her head with a wince. "But I've spoken to Javik, and discussed this with him at length. He says it'd work with you because asari rely on their biotics to do more than just fight - it leaves a mental marker, once you...Well, if your past self accepts it, it'd be as if you came back as well."_

_The older, weary version of Liara sat down, her face not displaying shock, only defeat. "It does sound ambitious. And while I am willing to help you and give you the seed you need, to accept it isn't my choice. It's hers."_

_Suddenly two sets of eyes bored down on her. "What's going on?" Liara hadn't realized she was speaking out loud._

_"You should know what's going on. If Benezia is dead, that means you've seen the Reaper threat. You know what Shepard told you is true. All your questions will be answered. They can be stopped and you can avoid a terrible future; if you accept my hand." Liara took a step back from herself, looking at the offered appendage as though it may be poison._

_What would happen to her? What would the repercussion be if she were to meld herself into something that she wasn't even sure about? To do something so rash would be desperate._

_She looked up from her own hand, and gazed into the owner's eyes._

_They both were pleading. She had so many more questions, but she had seen her mother die. Knew the Protheans were wiped out by something unknown. The Rachni queen was saved, but not before she had verified what Shepard was saying all along. They all were in grave danger. Liara knew the Reaper threat was indeed real._

_But could she give herself for this mission? Could she sacrifice herself without knowing the outcome - or, in this case, knowing what the future would be if she didn't do this? Could she do what Shepard was doing now?_

_Liara took a step forward, knocking her future self's hand aside, and embraced the asari to become one. As soon as their bodies made contact, there was another flash of light._

_A flood of information poured into her mind's eye. All so fast, she could barely make any sense of it; but as the flash faded, the last of the memories poured forth._

_Her last moments aboard the Normandy before the ship was destroyed._

 

_Garrus, on a medical bed, smiling despite the blood pouring from his wounds. "You know, Liara, my one regret?"_

_Liara looked down, her face tear-stricken while she did her best to make sure that he remained comfortable in his final hours. "What is that?" she asked, trying to match his smile with her own._

_"I never got a chance to tell Talon I loved her, never told her to meet me at the bar..." He turned his head to the side and met her eyes. She knew if turians could cry, there would be tears in his eyes._

_And then he died. Just like that. Eyes open, his face full of regret._

_The flames around them increased, and with an explosion of warmth and light, she joined him soon after._

 

**_Chakwas_ **

 

Chakwas came back from the cockpit and glanced over to the pair in the corner, only to realize that Liara and Shepard both were convulsing. Their eyes had rolled into the backs of their heads, both violently shaking in place.

The doctor immediately hurried over to assess the situation. But as soon as she placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder, she was knocked back by a biotic wave, slamming into her desk.

"Oh my..." she grunted, shaking her head from the impact of the blast and feeling her scalp for any injuries. She'd definitely be feeling that in the morning.

"Joker, get someone in here immediately. Something's going on with these two and I can't get near them."

"Is it a biotic thing? I can call Alenko."

"No, no," she replied quickly. The lieutenant had enough problems without putting any additional strain on his L2 implants. "I suspect I'll just be needing someone to run interference, get Wrex in here instead."

Too late, Kaidan's on the way. I'll send the krogan too."

Karin swore.

"Whoa," the pilot chuckled. "Sounds a little weird coming from you, Doc."

"As long as I've been around you marines, I've managed to pick up a few bad habits." Chakwas opened her omni tool and walked as close as she could to Shepard's and Liara's bodies. "I suppose it's okay to scan them, so long as I don't touch..." She muttered to herself as she approached, and then inhaled sharply when the readings popped up on the screen.

 

She'd only observed a few asari joinings in the past, and this was completely backwards. It was as if the connection was being hosted by Shepard instead of Liara.

It wasn't even three minutes before Kaidan marched in, eyes wide and alert. "I can jump in. Maybe pull her out?"

"No, no, no." The doctor tsked and physically moved Kaidan back to the door, just as Wrex came trampling in, with Garrus and Ashley behind him. "Good timing. Wrex with me, you're a biotic right? Garrus, Ashley, you two escort the lieutenant out right now. I just stitched you back together, Kaidan, and here you are trying to cause more strain on those wounds. "

The krogan growled an affirmative and made his way inside while Garrus and Ashley moved Kaidan aside.

"Easy, Alenko..." The turian motioned to the human biotic, ushering him out the door. "Chakwas'll get her taken care of."

Kaidan looked over his shoulder, worry evident on his features, but he complied none the less.

 

With all the distractions out the way, Wrex walked over to the gurney and glanced at the doctor. "Chakwas, there really isn't much I can do here. It just looks like a massive information haul to be honest. If I go in now, it could kill them both. Considering Shepard signs my checks, killing her wouldn't exactly work out for me."

A few seconds later Shepard seemed to calm down, Liara relaxing as well only moments later.

 

**Shepard**

 

She sat up, her body feeling heavy and her head light. Not in a bad way, though. She had literally felt the weight of Liara's subconscious riding shotgun in her mind up until now. It was nice having room in her head.

Talon wasn't expecting to find Karin and Wrex in the room, however, looking down at them in concern.

She glanced over to Liara, who was now massaging the sides of her head. She really couldn't remember what happened after Liara had embraced herself, but imagined it would take the asari time to deal with the information she had been given.

"I-I need to go lie down for a bit." As if confirming what Shepard had thought, Liara moved to the room adjoined to the med bay.

"What the hell was that about?" Wrex grumbled, eyes still wary. But before she could answer, the doors to the med bay opened and Garrus walked in to give an update.

"Alenko is in the galley with Williams, he seemed worried." He veered, noticing the Commander's improvement. "Hey... Glad to see you're alive. You gave us a bit of a scare there."

Everything was coming back now. Their trip to Noveria, killing Benezia and freeing the Rachni queen, the promise of finding Wrexs' family armor, and capturing Dr. Saleon before things got out of hand. It was strange, though - she found that now, she couldn't remember the previous outcomes of Noveria, only what had transpired in this time line.

 _Huh._ She took a deep breath. _No time to figure this out._ "I feel fine, but I think Liara took the brunt of whatever happened. The beacon had me knocked out for a while last time, so maybe it's just a common thing," she offered, eyeing the doctor as she scratched her head and walked over to a nearby terminal.

"I already have the scans I needed from the both of you, and you appear fine now." Chakwas spoke, half to Shepard and half to herself, "I'll go check on Liara after I look over these one more time. Garrus, be a dear and make sure Shepard gets something to eat. Wrex, I need a few blood samples from you."

 _Since when have I needed an escort for my meals?_ Talon moved aside while Wrex grumbled something about needles and the Rite, and made her way through the door.

She looked up at the turian standing beside her while he selected their floor on the elevator's keypad.

Garrus Vakarian. She'd only really had the chance to get to know him once before, and while she trusted him to have her back in combat she'd never really had the chance to act on that. She'd become so focused on getting the mission done, keeping everyone alive that she had more or less run herself to the ground.

She didn't trust her team to grow last time, and from what she remembered Garrus was actually very capable. All of them were.

This was her last shot to stop the Reapers, and she knew her best bet would be to establish allies and connections should she need them. After all, she had completely isolated herself in the end a few times already. _I should have gotten to know them more._

 

So lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized that they were now at the table, both with a plate of food in front of them. _I really need to stop doing that._

"So, Vakarian."

"Yes, Commander?" He stopped eating.

"Don't mind me. As you were."

One of the bony plates that passed for an eyebrow quirked, but he went back to his meal.

"How about we pick up Dr. Saleon before heading to Feros? It's on the way, from what I saw on the map."

"I-uh... Thank you, Commander. I hadn't thought that - "

"That I'd actually help you? I need you completely focused, Vakarian. If this thing is what keeps you up at night, we're fixing it. I want to make sure you get some sleep. Besides, if even half of the things you said are true, then he's one sick bastard. We can't afford to have someone like that loose." That's right. Now, slowly, everything was coming back to her.

This conversation was followed by multiple attempts at getting the turian to open up. It was obvious that he wasn't sure of how to act around someone who was technically his superior, but who hadn't been throwing orders at him left and right. He'd abandoned C-Sec to pursue Saren, simply because he felt it was his duty to bring down something that tarnished his species as a whole... No, not even that - because it was the right thing to do.

"Commander." he began, moving his tray to the side. "I know what you're going to say, what you think. But capturing Saleon and just handing him over... What if he gets away again? It'd be best to just kill him, get it over with, prevent him from taking more lives."

"We'll see how things play out, Vakarian. But we aren't murderers, and stooping down to his level won't bring back the lives he's taken. We can take him in, and allow the people with the proper authority to make that call."

"With all due respect Commander, you're a Spectre. Who says _you_ couldn't make that call?"

She finished her meal, moving her plate aside and then folding her hands in front of her face, elbows on the table.

Suddenly there was motion in her periphery. Shepard looked up to see Kaidan emerge from the crew quarters and lean against a wall, waiting for her patiently.

As her gaze flickered back towards Garrus, she thought about what she had said and spoke carefully. "Being a Spectre doesn't give me the right to take lives as I see fit. Just because we're operating above the law, doesn't mean we shouldn't hold ourselves accountable. We can't kill because it's easy. The moment we look at lives as a... a convenience, or some type of assurance, then we're no better than Saren."

She wondered if she'd come off too stern. Garrus nodded, mumbling an "Aye, Commander," before going silent. A closer look made her realize that he was actually taking what she said to heart.

A soft smile spread across her face. "You're a good soldier, Garrus. A good turian," she added, remembering a comment from the past - their now distant future. "You just need to believe in yourself a little bit more." She moved from the mess hall table. "Now that you've seen me eat, and we've had this little talk, is there anything else?"

Garrus had been stunned to silence at the unexpected compliment, but he was able to recover in a few moments. "No, ma'am, nothing else. If you don't mind, I'll head back to the engine deck." Not knowing what else to say, he stood up and moved back towards the elevator, stealing one more look in her direction before entering.

 

When Garrus left, Shepard waved over Kaidan. As she waited for him to get to her, she rifled through the cabinet for a packet of hot chocolate mix, craving something sweet. "I hear I scared you guys a bit while Liara took a look at what keeps me up at night." She smiled ruefully.

Kaidan stood there for a minute, then leaned against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. "I didn't see too much. Just looked like you were having a seizure is all. I'm sure you were just dehydrated," came his quiet, wry reply.

"That's all," she agreed. "I plan on briefing the crew after everyone has had their rest. No point in staying up until the assignment tomorrow."

"Yeah, I saw that message a few minutes ago. What's out in Kepler?" He grabbed a clean mug from the counter, fixing coffee for himself and frowning at the contents of her mug.

"What?" She cradled her cup closer defensively. "Not a fan of the sweet stuff?"

"Off the record?"

Shepard nodded, giving him the go ahead to speak freely.

"You're sweet enough as it is." He smirked. "I'll see you in the morning Commander."

Shepard watched as he walked away. A little lost, and confused.

Okay, _really_ lost and confused. _When the hell did I start something with Kaidan?!_ She took the elevator to her room, racking her brain the entire way. She couldn't remember anything like this with the Lieutenant - at least not anything that would cause him to think that they would be pursuing a relationship.

 

She walked into her room, fully intent on finishing her drink and taking a shower. However, she wasn't alone. Sitting patiently on the bed was Liara, hands folded in her lap and a calm, yet tired, expression on her face. Her eyes looked ancient, as if she had seen the universe and all of its mysteries.

Well she kind of had - both of their worlds had been attacked, burnt to ashes actually.

Shepard took a sip from her mug and then walked to the small comm terminal by her bed. "How you holding up?" she asked casually, even as she mentally wished she had whipped cream for her hot chocolate.

That earned an annoyed groan from Liara.

"Tell me about it," Shepard grinned. "So, now that you know what I told you earlier was indeed true... I guess it's time to get down to it."

The doctor narrowed her eyes. "That's it? You... I don't even know what to call it, what you did. You, I don't know, awaken me, and here I am, back in the past as if nothing happened... and all you have to say is _let's get to it_?"

Nodding, Talon's eyes darted to the left before making eye contact in emphasis. "Yeah. Unless you have something you want to ask?"

A tick played in the asari's brow. Her blue eyes gleamed as she murmured back, "I had many questions at first, but as your - my memories came undone, I was able to find the answers for them quite easily. What you told me before was only reinforced by connections I couldn't yet see . . . It's a lot to handle, Shepard, and we're running on very short time." Liara rubbed the back of her neck, sighing. "How is it that you're so relaxed? Shouldn't we alert the Council? Tell them about the Crucible, the Reapers, make them excavate where Javik is buried. We have proof Shepard! This time we can show them!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Shepard held up her hands, signaling her partner to give her a chance to explain. "I've done that, and it didn't work."

"What do you mean it didn't work?" the asari snapped, clearly agitated.

"The first time around everyone did believe me, and all that did was bring the Reapers here a little sooner. We were able to move the hidden gate from the Citadel, but then instead of building the Crucible and gathering supplies or allies, it just became an all-out war on the edge of the Traverse. We eventually lost the hanar and drell, and found out what elcor looked like as husks." She shuddered at the memory. "The second time, they just thought I was crazy, and even with a token force I couldn't find Javik or the Crucible. Moving too fast caused things to go out of order. Things that would have revealed clues to what we needed when we found them... didn't work out in the ways they should have."

"That sounds rather like the human theory of the butterfly effect." Liara took a noticeable deep breath.

"And as to why I'm so relaxed," Talon continued, "I've come to realize that watching my failures, repeatedly, was largely due to my being too wound up and ruthless. Hell, I was impatient and messed up a lot of things for a lot of people." Another shudder. "Things have to be done a certain way, and what we need is time and a gentle hand."

"Well, Shepard, we don't have much of either of those."

"No, no we don't," Talon agreed. "And before you ask me any more questions, let's talk about a few more things." Shepard set down her hot chocolate and opened her omni-tool. "Remember those black boxes you were going to set on planets, in case we fail? Well, I took whatever data they had, along with a few other things I found and added them to my omni-tool. While the facility on Mars isn't supposed to find the original information on the Crucible yet in this timeline, I still have it with me now. I'll transfer it to you.

"I see." Liara just stared, her voice showing no emotion. Something she did when trying to figure out a puzzle. "You have to do things as close as possible to what you would have done originally. Be the gentle hand. You need me for support and time." The puzzle clicked as soon as she said it out loud.

The Shadow Broker had agents, resources, and now information that could help turn the tides of battle when needed. In the beginning, Liara herself hadn't done anything important to set it all in motion. But she did do one thing that set the Reapers back.

Talon took another sip of her drink, thoughtful. "After helping Wrex and Garrus, I'll be heading to Feros, then Virmire. I won't tell you what to do Liara - a part of having you here was so that another unknown variable could be added. If somehow I'm captured, the enemy won't know what's going on at your end."

She couldn't imagine what was going through Liara's head at the moment. All the girl seemed able to do at the moment was stare, empty, blank, calculating. And that made Talon feel a little uneasy. A part of her still felt guilty.

Was it right to bring her back from the future, into the past, and then dump a mess of responsibility onto this young woman's shoulders?

Was this the right thing to do?

"Shepard, I'm going to leave a private channel for our use while we are separated. I'll be able to have a feel of what to do once I am back where I belong. I'll leave at the next relay."

That wasn't what she was expecting. "I didn't plan on sending you out alone, Liara. I can help you take over the Shadow Broker's base."

The asari shook her head. "You have things to do here, things that don't require me just yet. I'll get in contact with Feron... From what I remember, he isn't the Shadow Broker's agent yet. Goddess, that feels so strange to say..." She chuckled, inhaled then exhaled slowly. "I'm still trying to figure out what's going on, but we don't have time to waste. I'll be able to think clearly once I've gathered my resources, and keep you posted then."

Liara had gotten up and by now was standing in front of the door. "It may be a while before I'm able to get in contact with you. Is there anything that you'd want me to do Shepard?"

She hadn't thought about that. Talon really wanted Liara to work on her own, wanted to trust that the young doctor could do what she needed to. She had more than proved herself in the end. However, it wasn't long before Shepard thought of something, "I remember Virmire being a cloning facility," she spoke softly. "The data could be useful for something I have in mind, provided we don't screw up and somehow get Mordin killed."

Liara looked up, brows furrowed in thought, before replying, "I'm not sure what good that would do. Cloned krogans didn't really fare too well, and Grunt was... an exception."

"I don't plan on cloning the krogan, Liara. I can't give too much away right now, but I do have something in mind."

Liara placed a white gloved hand on the bottom of her own chin. "Have you figured out a way to save both Alenko and Williams?"

That caught her by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"From the glimpse I've gotten from our joining, no matter what, you always lost one of them to the bomb on Virmire," Liara supplied, but immediately cursed when she saw the commander's pained expression. "You don't remember? Do you remember anyth- ?"

"Stop!" Shepard interrupted. "I don't know who dies! Other than losing Thessia and the Reapers starting to attack Earth, I don't know the outcome of anything. But if we're here, Liara, it can't have been good." She swallowed, her chest swelling with emotions. "Anytime I've gone back, I can never remember the exact conversation with the Crucible's AI, or my last moments. I don't even know why I keep coming back." Shepard thumbed the rim of her coffee mug. "What I do know, is that this is the last time."

"And how do you know that?"

"Let's call it a hunch," she answered honestly. It was the best she could do. How do you explain a gut feeling other than that? A hunch.

Taking a deep breath, Shepard clapped both sides of her face, clearing away the doubts that would poison her mind. She couldn't afford to be negative, to let her protective instinct take over.

"The cloning data is important, Liara. I'm sure you'll figure it all out once you have your resources again - it's a surefire way to bring us some expert help on the Reapers. Now, off with you." She shooed the asari playfully, when she saw the young woman was about to question what she'd just said. "We'll hit the next relay station at o-six-hundred before we head out to Kepler. Go get some sleep."

She said that, but who in their right mind could sleep after a day like that?

 

After Liara left, Talon went to brush her teeth. She shook her head at her reflection in the mirror, where the bags under her eyes were more prominent than ever. Technically speaking, the day had been short; but, although her body was that of a twenty four year old, she'd been doing this for... "God, I don't even want to think about that." She laughed darkly, and went to take a shower, hoping the water would melt away some of the stress.

In times like this, she could simply walk down to the main battery and talk to Garrus. Vent her anger and frustration on the sparring mats; talk it out over a cup of coffee while he drank _apha,_ the turian equivalent. Except they didn't have a main battery on the SR-1, and Garrus hadn't seemed to grow in his confidence yet.

 _That actually happens right after we capture Saleon_ , she realized, washing her thick black hair. She couldn't remember exactly when though. To be honest, the second and third times she went back she didn't spend much time with him. She'd been too focused on the mission - kill the Reapers, at all costs. In the end she had a team, but she didn't have their loyalty.

 _No..._ She shook and wrung her hair after getting out of the shower, and wiped the fog from the mirror to peer at her reflection. _They didn't have mine_. Frowning, she began to braid the damp tresses, which had curled up due to the water.

Starting tomorrow, that was going to change.

Pulling on a T-Shirt and turning off the light, she stared into the dark, counting the indention marks on the ceiling and waiting for sleep to take her.

 


	3. Chapter II

**Liara**

 

_They knew what they were up against, but there was no way to completely prepare for this. What was once a beautiful and proud human city was now burning and filled with mayhem and destruction. London was lost._

_Liara T'Soni moved from cover, throwing a singularity into a horde of Reaper foot soldiers, then slamming them into the ground. The Normandy was only a few more feet away. The only thing holding her back was another wave of husks, and the weight of a unconscious turian at her side._

_"Hang on Garrus." She fired constantly through the barrage, pulling her enemies and firing into their bodies, her secondary focus dedicated to changing thermal clips. This would be the one of the very few times she was grateful for her misadventures when hunting down the Shadow Broker. Her biotics were on par with commandos. No, they were better._

_She ducked back into cover, making sure it was clear to move. Behind her were more humans fighting for their lives, trying to keep the path to the Normandy clear until she got the turian on board._

_It was getting hard to keep up the fight. Watch her back, fire, carry Garrus, repeat; but as soon as she made it to the dock, James Vega took over. He hefted Garrus over his shoulder and turned towards the path that would lead to the med bay, keeping an eye out for enemies firing behind him._

_"Where's Lola?!" he called back when he was sure she wasn’t followed._

_Liara looked back over her shoulder, where the doors to the Crucible had sealed shut. Brutes were trying to ram their way inside. Then, as if on command, they looked past the humans firing at their backs and into the hatch where Liara had fled._

_"Shit, shit, shit," Vega cursed and slammed the button to close the cargo bay door. He ran towards to the elevator and punched in the keys to take them to the med bay. Once they arrived, he bolted._

_"Chakwas!" he yelled, hefting the turian onto the table. Blue blood now soaked the shoulder and front of his armor._

_"What happened?" The doctor's hands were quick but careful. She glanced over Garrus once and then began to work off his armor, at the same time making a visual assessment of Liara._

_"You've been hit, you're bleeding. Vega, get the medigel and take care of her wounds, I don't have any free hands."_

_Vega kept his usual flirtatious comments to himself, doing as he was told and helping Liara onto another table while wearing a mask of professionalism. "He tried to run in after Shepard," the asari gasped, "but there were so many. I couldn't keep the husks off them. He was overrun for a while, but Shepard managed to get inside and shut the gates. A few got in, though, and I can't reach her on my comm." She clenched her teeth as the lieutenant peeled away a piece of her shirt that was melted to her skin._

_"Sorry." Vega removed a few pieces of rock from her blue flesh, a dark stream of blood trickling forth from the wound, to which he quickly applied medigel._

_"So Shepard is in there alone?" Chakwas reiterated._

_"Yes."_

_"Is there any way for her to get out?" Vega asked quietly, avoiding Liara's eyes as though he already knew the answer._

_Liara paused. The only option for Shepard's escape only proved she was most likely not going to make it any time soon. "Only if she opens the gate from the inside."_

_As if on cue, the table jerked in response to the lift-off of the Normandy._

_"What the hell's going on, Joker?!" Vega growled, gripping the table to steady himself._

_"We're being overrun. We don't have any more ground support, so we've gotta move. They're hitting us way too hard," he responded quickly. "And, something's going on with the Crucible. Shepard must be doing something up there."_

_"I'm experiencing a slight energy flux coming from within the center of the Crucible. Some of the Reaper ships have ceased firing on the allied fleets. The Crucible is attempting to enter orbit." EDI sounded more alarmed than usual._

_"Well, isn't that a good thing? It didn't break when it fell to Earth! We can't leave Shepard behind if whatever she did worked," Joker added, the sounds of key strokes being hit going off in the background as he spoke._

_"Reaper foot soldiers are still active, and the energy flux is gradually growing. My sensors indicate it will be fatal to both synthetics and organics."_

_"Then that means..."_

_The AI answered after a tense and brief pause. "Shepard may already be dead."_

_"No..." Everyone looked down to see Garrus stirring. "We have to go back." His voice was weak._

_"Lay down, Vakarian. You're lucky to have survived that last round." Chakwas gently pushed the turian back down onto the bed._

_"Damn it, we have to go back! She's alive, I know she is!"_

_The med bay shook, cabinets opening and glass bottles and vials breaking across the floor._

_"Joker? EDI?" Liara called._

_"No..." was all they heard Joker say, his breath barely above a whisper._

_"What's going on?" With no visual of Joker, Vega looked at the receiver in the ceiling._

_"The Crucible has...the area the Crucible was occupying... It's gone..." EDI was actually stammering. "Reaper activity has ceased, energy flux is growing. Initiating jump to FTL speed."_

_Liara moved to close the window cover of the med bay. The last thing she saw was a bright light, and then the sound of fire alarms began to echo throughout the ship._

_Vega ran out of the med bay, while Chakwas just stared out another window._

_"We've been hit," she whispered, gripping a table as another shudder and groan traveled through the ship._

_Joker was still flying. He didn't realize it was a lost cause._

_"Warning, severe damage detected. Please evacuate to the nearest life pod." EDI's voice was calm above the sirens._

_"Heh..." Liara looked over to see Garrus staring at the ceiling, chuckling, a resigned look gracing his face. "What would you do if we had a second chance, Liara?"_

_He understood what was going on, knew the sounds meant their deaths. He accepted this. Liara walked over to her friend, grabbing his hand and sitting next to his bed. She couldn't think of an answer. "I never thought... I don't know, Garrus. I guess I never really thought about it."_

_He sighed, closing his eyes. "I regret never telling her. Never telling Talon that I love... loved her." He stumbled on the past tense. "I let racial awkwardness and social standing get in the way. Kept telling myself that after all this was over, I'd have a chance..." He trailed off, his voice getting weaker with every syllable._

_"She died alone, Liara. She didn't get another chance. I left her alone... didn't even tell her to meet me at the bar."_

_"No you didn't, Garrus. We - " She grabbed his hand and held it to her heart, trying to soothe him as much as she could._

_"Liara..." She felt a warm, gentle hand on her shoulder. Doctor Chakwas gazed sadly at the turian's body and murmured, "He's gone, dear."_

_She looked back down, his hand limp in her own._

_Garrus died, full of regret._

_She stood from Garrus's bedside and closed his eyes, as another shudder rocked the ship. The flames engulfed them all._

 

Liara turned over in her bed, hand reaching over to where her desk should have been, to turn off an alarm that wasn't there. When she opened her eyes and saw that she was back in the med bay research room, she groaned inwardly and turned off the alarm that was blaring from her omni tool.

Sitting up, she looked around, attempting to overcome an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Liara wasn't sure yet if this would be something she was able to get used to, but that didn't matter now. She had a job to do.

Once she'd gotten dressed and made herself presentable, she dragged her feet into the med bay. The doctor had obviously been concerned with what transpired the night before, but did her best to not ask too many questions after being assured the asari's physical health was fine.

Shepard hadn't forbade her from telling anyone the truth. That she hid the essence of her own consciousness within the deepest confines of Shepard's mind, so that when the commander traveled back in time she could implant it into her younger body. But Liara was sure that it wouldn't bode too well to just go around giving away that piece of information. Not that it mattered; she never really just _gave away_ information.

It was indeed a strange feeling, having two sets of memories. She could remember everything she had been doing, up until the point her past self chose to merge with her future. And, of course, the events that led her to return in the first place.

The crew seemed to be confused about her change in demeanor more than anything else. Just yesterday, she'd been keeping to herself and stuttered over every other word, terrified of the humans. Now, she strode throughout the ship, confident and well-spoken even in the presence of the others.

"Good morning, Dr. T'Soni."

Liara glanced from her data pad, going over a few of the articles Shepard had given her last night, and saw that the person greeting her was none other than Kaidan Alenko.

"Good morning, Maj- I mean, Lieutenant." She smiled, watching him sit down across from her.

"Major? Wow, I get promoted and no one tell me?" he chuckled.

"Sorry." She winced, realizing that she'd need to work on remembering everyone's old titles and staying low key. Perhaps she should have stayed in her room until they docked. "You know what they say - speaking something out loud is bound to make it happen someday."

"I hope that's true then," he grinned, winking playfully. "For now, though, let's stick with appropriate ranks. I was just checking to see how you were doing. Last night had everyone a bit worried."

"Really, everyone?" she asked skeptically. "I remember Tali and Garrus inquiring as to how Shepard and I were feeling before I retired last night. But I highly doubt Wrex cared," she offered instead.

"Krogans are always hard to read." He took a sip of coffee, surprise evident in his eyes. "I was worried about Shepard. Seeing what happened on Eden Prime, then seeing it happen again in the med bay..." Kaidan sighed quietly. "Makes a man realize what he's got to lose."

That was a surprise. She'd never seen Kaidan so bold, at least not this early on. Certainly not before he became a Spectre. But seeing this, and remembering what Shepard told her once about Horizon, how he treated her, and then remembering what Garrus told her before he died... It left a bad taste in her mouth.

But could she blame him for something he hadn't done yet? And would he do it again?

A soft ping took her attention away from her data pad, showing results for what she'd been searching for. She smiled before turning eyes back to the man before her. "I think that..." She paused, searching for the right words to emphasize her point. "Shepard is a strong and capable woman. Whomever she chooses to remain at her side will be a lucky one indeed."

A plan was forming in her head; she'd have a chance to cause some... _small scale_ havoc in his life.

"All ground team members are asked to report to the comm room," came a very bored pilot's voice over the intercom. "Commander Shepard is holding a briefing before Dr. T'Soni departs the Normandy at the next station."

"We should go, Kaidan," she offered, completely avoiding the use of his rank. "Shouldn't keep her waiting." Her smirk was devious, and she saw that it only added to his suspicious stare as she walked away. Yes, this would be fun.

 

 

**Shepard**

 

 

"Alright, team." Shepard tossed a data pad on the ground at her feet as everyone took their seats in the comm room. "Last night we weren't able to find anything from the vision I received from the beacon. The only thing we got is that it may have been some kind of warning." She noticed an intrigued look from Wrex and made a mental note to make sure the krogan didn't say anything to the rest of the crew.

He was a biotic just as Liara was, perhaps an even more skilled one, and from what Talon got from Dr. Chakwas, it would be easy for someone who looked close enough to tell that Liara definitely got something from her mind, something much more than a warning. Luckily, the good doctor didn't delve too deep into what happened; she was content so long as it didn't cause any real harm.

"Dr. T'Soni will be leaving us at the next relay, and from there we're going to go run some errands for our new friends." She nodded to Garrus and Wrex. "Hopefully by then we'll have some leads on what Saren is up to. For now, we'll stay alert and keep ready for anything." By this time Shepard had crossed her arms and leaned further back into her chair, feeling the exhaustion from the sleepless night before.

"Vakarian, I'll need you on my six to help with identifying Dr. Saleon. Tali, you'll look out for anything we can use. It seems Dr. Saleon used to be an acquaintance of Saren, so maybe we can find something useful in any data banks we find aboard. Any questions?"

She'd made sure to establish why she'd be taking Garrus and Tali with her, remembering none too fondly the several arguments she'd had with Williams about why the _aliens_ were getting more ground time then her assigned human team. It wouldn't work for long, she knew that, but it was best to avoid a headache as much as possible for now.

With no input from her crew, she dismissed them and made her way to the cockpit to verify a nagging question about Joker she'd been thinking about since she'd come to.

Alenko followed her, of course, and perched himself in the co-pilot's seat that he'd usually occupy if he weren't in the mess hall.

"Joker," Talon greeted, standing behind the pilot as he prepared for their FTL jump. "You've been very... cheerful these last few days."

"Don't get him started again." She could feel Kaidan's eye roll from where she stood. "He's finally stopped yammering about endless tales of adventure and fighting the bad guys. You'd think we’re some sort of pirate space heroes or something."

"Oh, _okay_ Alenko, like you're not the least bit excited," Joker cut in. "The Normandy has been outfitted with the best equipment the Alliance has seen, built for stealth missions and outfitted with the state of the art weapon systems, and we're stuck using her as a glorified pizza delivery vehicle." The pilot dramatically threw his hands in the air. "I mean, yeah, it sucks that Saren wants to destroy all of humanity, but we finally get to put this baby through the trenches, see what all that tax payer money can..." He halted, finally realizing that _'all work and no play_ ' Commander Shepard was standing behind him.

The look on his face clearly mirrored the _'Oh, shit_ ' that ran through his mind just then.

Shepard winced at his hesitance. Had she really been such a stickler that her crew was afraid to speak openly around her? Since waking up, she had to constantly remind herself that this was still an Alliance ship - for now, anyway - and that there were proper rules and protocols to follow. As soon as she got the SR-2, she was sure as hell doing away with most of them, though. "Although I can't agree one hundred percent that logic," she smiled down cheerfully at Joker, "it's good to see that you're motivated and ready for whatever we may face. Keep it up, hopefully it'll spread around." She patted the back of his chair and started to walk back towards the galaxy map.

She almost didn't catch Joker's remark.

"Dude, did she finally get laid?" the pilot snickered good-naturedly, waggling his eyebrows over at Kaidan.

It was a shame that she actually did hear it, though she wasn't about to ruin the small step in faith in order to explain to the pilot why discussing her private life wasn't such a good idea.

She had more things to worry about just now, like waiting for 'Dr. Heart' - Saleon's new identity - to get back to his hold, drop off Liara, look for Wrex's armor, and figure out how to take care of the not-so-subtle problem that was Saren.

"It's going to be a long ride," she griped aloud. "Pressly, prepare for departure."

"Yes, Commander," the senior XO grinned and prepared for their departure.

 

 

**Liara/Feron**

 

 

Five days had passed. She couldn't believe how easy it was to assert herself as an information broker and have her old office back so quickly after returning to Illium. Of course, it took a hell of a lot of back-breaking work on her end. But then, having a near perfect memory helped.

All it took was remembering the right dates, people, contacts, and selling them the information she knew they were after around this time from her old records. To be honest, Liara had started to be afraid of what she had done - she wasn't sure what effects selling information she didn't have in the past would affect her now. And she didn't have too much time to worry about it either.

In fact, she'd hoped to draw some attention her way, asking around for Feron when his old contact hadn't been of any use to her.

Sitting here now, with a view of the city at her back, a desk full of new requests, money and resources some could only dream of, and she _still_ couldn't manage to find a certain drell. That only left one possible solution - or problem, depending on the way she viewed it - Feron must somehow already be an agent of the Shadow Broker.

Biting a thumb nail in irritation, she began organizing her desk, wiping data pads of their contents and balancing more of her accounts. She'd started to place a call when she heard her door open.

She kept her face blank, as she usually did when anyone visited her. Though it was much harder to maintain her controlled stance when she saw who came through the door. Dark grey and green scales, and an amused grin that didn’t reach his black eyes. He was obviously comfortable in his own skin, and hadn't moved an inch since entering the doorway.

There was a long, awkward silence.

It was Feron. But it had just hit her that _this_ Feron may not be the one she knew from before. In her own rush to find him and take her position back as the Shadow Broker, she hadn't even thought of an excuse as to why she would be looking for him. After all, the Shadow Broker had sent Feron to her in search of Shepard's body, not the other way around.

She was being given a second chance to do things right, and she had already messed something up by not paying attention to one detail.

"Dr. T'Soni," he greeted after a few more seconds of silence, eyes darting around the room suspiciously. He kept his right hand on his waist, the other relaxed at his side. She remembered this stance; it allowed him easy access to the pistol he kept hidden beneath his dark blue and black jacket, and the blade he kept in his pants leg behind a hidden flap.

Maybe he wasn't too different from what she remembered, after all?

She gestured to the chair in front of her desk, relaxing under his gaze out of habit, to which he quirked a brow. "Strange, Dr. T'Soni, that you have someone show up to your office unannounced and yet you don't seem all that surprised."

"In our line of work, too many surprises often lead to casualties," she bluffed, earning a quiet but hearty laugh in response.

"Very true." He pulled a leg over his knee after taking the chair in front of her desk. No longer feeling any threat, Liara couldn't help but notice his hand still resting on the hilt of his hidden weapon. Still on guard. She'd have to get used to that for now. "News travels fast. I heard you were in need of my services." He tilted his head a bit to the side, waving an arm towards her. "I am unsure as to how I can help you."

"Yes, as I can see." She did her best to remain calm in this situation, making up things as she went along. Hands kept folded on the table, careful not to flinch or twiddle her fingers out of nerves; a telltale sign of a lie. "I've come across some information that I thought you would find interesting. I need your assistance in verifying it, however."

"That's a bold statement, considering your very recent residence here. You've climbed the chain pretty quickly. Enough for people who've been in the game a lot longer to take notice." He chuckled, "Something doesn't seem quite right about you, Dr. T'Soni."

"Please, call me Liara," she offered, not letting his comment ruffle her. She was aware of whom he meant, and it was enough to confirm her earlier suspicions. Feron was already working with the Shadow Broker. Though this certainly made things a bit more difficult, as the Shadow Broker was indeed cautious, she already knew his one weakness - greed. "I'm sure you've obviously heard of the Reaper threat by now," Liara continued steadily, "and I have a good feeling that your benefactor would be interested in this knowle - Oh, Goddess, there is no need for that!" She opened her hands quickly in surrender when his fingers suddenly twitched towards the knife.

His face twisted in confusion when he realized that she already knew what he was going for. "It's usually well hidden," he breathed, a free hand gripping the table for leverage and the blade held behind his back. He'd planned to use the extra force to drive it into her throat.

It took all she had not to show any signs of relief. She needed to remain confident. "I'm a very good information broker," she murmured, looking up at him with wide eyes, using the same expression he had once told her made him feel weak.

"Damn." Feron sat down, not really sure how to react. Usually in a situation like this, he would just kill her and report to his boss. But she had mentioned the one thing he had shown an interest in, even before Shepard tried to warn the Council. He flexed his hands, and placed the weapon on her desk, sitting back down and watching as she pointed to the blue collar of his shirt.

She was making a flipping motion with her wrist. He watched her, curiosity flickering in his eyes, not moving an inch. She smiled gently, and his eyes went wide. How did she know he even had it there?

Liara knew she would have to make a gamble. Feron had always had a strange quality about him; he believed in the supernatural, was an extreme romantic, yet he was suspicious of everything. But she remembered something she'd told him in her Shadow Broker days.

When he was younger and his father worked in the information trade, Feron had made the mistake of believing a rival agent who had claimed to be looking for his father to give him some important news. Being a child and not fully realizing the full extent of what his father even did, he told the agent where his father could be found. Feron paid for that mistake with the life of his father, but he couldn't afford to be bitter.

He had siblings and a mother who also dealt in the same business. So instead, he developed a series of codes; one for his mother, brothers and one he'd give to his future lover in case something really did need to be relayed. No one knew these, as they were never written down and he never spoke them once, except to explain the importance of them to the ones they were meant to protect. And he didn't share the meanings of the codes to anyone but the person they were designed for.

He'd only given them to her after his rescue from his torture by the Shadow Broker, and she would use it now. Her eyes went down cast, and then she placed her right hand over her left ear as if brush something aside, "Feron, I can't believe you don't remember me."

His body went stiff. "I-I never said I didn't remember you." he offered the phrase in for the string of code. She'd hated the next part - the vocal phrases and physical cues was, after all, something he'd have liked to hear from his lover, formed from his various role play fetishes.

She folded her arms, making them cup her breasts and leaned over her desk, doing her best to peer into his dark eyes as she whispered, "Then why do I feel so lonely?"

He immediately reached up to his collar and turned off his listening device. "What the hell?" he stammered, sweat beading on his brow. He'd had many women to be sure, but he'd never spoken to the code to _anyone_. Not even his mother or brother. Yet those words, those gestures which showed his own weakness, were being laid out in front of him. And by an asari? He certainly wasn't against the idea, but hadn't ever been seriously involved with one outside a dance room or bar.

He gulped nervously. He should kill her and run, but the words. Her eyes.

He watched her as she relaxed into the back of her chair, whispering "By the _Goddess_ " in relief.

"Please," Feron begged, hands shaking. Confused, his eyes bored into hers. "What's going on?"

If she'd never believed that knowledge was power, she was sure as hell convinced now. His one weakness was true love, his belief that, if two people were meant to be together, love could transcend anything, even time or space. Believing in it and experiencing it, however, were probably two very different things in this situation.

She explained everything to him. Her trip from the future - which she wasn't sure if she should call her past - the Shadow Broker's involvement with the Collectors, Shepard, their relationship, their mission. The inevitable destruction of the galaxy if they failed.

Not once did he interrupt her. The look on his face however, was anything but serene. To put it mildly, he looked as if he would at any moment walk right out the door and call a few doctors to have her taken to a mental institution, not that there were a lot of those for the asari in the first place.

She wouldn't really blame him, if he didn't believe her. She'd gone through this herself, when Shepard explained her plan before their final fight on Earth. The commander even had proof then, and it all still seemed so far-fetched.

When she stopped talking, there was more tense silence. She started to say something else but he held a hand up for silence, silently asking for a moment to process all the information he'd just been given. Feron moved a hand up over his eyes, rubbing the back of his head, and sighed, "If what you're saying is true, if we're..." He raked an appreciative glance over her figure, then continued. " _Together_ , then tell me about my mother. Not even my current boss knows about that."

Liara shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Oh come on," he snorted. "If what you say is true, then you have to know about that."

She knew about it, sure; she just wasn't sure how to deal with it. He was protective of his mother for a reason. "You don't know your birth mother," she began carefully. "The one who helped raised you is a volus prostitute your father met on a job."

Feron just looked at her steadily for a few moments, then stood from his chair and placed his hands on her desk. Looking deep into her blue eyes, he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear, "It's something you'll take to your grave."

"Technically, I already have." she quipped, recounting the explosion on the Normandy. "But I promise, it's something I won't share." She smiled.

She could see that she was still a stranger in his eyes, but he was on her side now, ready to believe in her and fight alongside her if need be. "When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect to meet my future wife," he added, smirking slightly.

"Well we weren't married, Feron," she assured him, moving away a little. He was bolder than before, and Liara was unused to the sudden close proximity of him. _Maybe it was the two years of torture and imprisonment that changed that_ , she reminded herself dryly.

Feron merely shook his head. "If you knew all this, then trust me. Marriage was my intention," he grinned, confident. "So, tell me your plan. Because right now, the Shadow Broker has his eye on you; and maybe me too after this. We had better act fast in getting you back on your throne."

"I have a few things in mind. Have you heard of the drug blue azure?"

Feron sat back down in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're on Illium, so it's a given."

 

 

**Garrus**

 

 

He couldn't believe he was finally going to have to chance to take down that slippery bastard, Dr. Saleon. He'd been a tough one since the beginning; cloning organs inside of his employees, using them as organic test tubes. Of course they'd been willing, too poor to deny the _good doctors'_ compensation. He'd been offering them free medical care and credits, so long as the organs they produced developed correctly. And if they didn't... Well, then you were just stuck with something a little extra.

He'd almost caught him before but he was sly, quick, as soon as word got out C-Sec had one of his patients he took the first shuttle off the citadel, Garrus wanted to shoot the bastard's ship out of the sky, but his commanding officers held him off; too many casualties they said. What were a few casualties so long as you took care of the problem?

But Garrus learned his lesson, kept his mouth shut when he was offered a spot on the Normandy to hunt down an even bigger pain in the ass, Saren. And while Shepard didn't exactly see eye to eye with the turian she was at least willing to do what needed to get done in order take down the enemy. Shepard was a Spectre, not tied down by any red tape. Willing to look past a few rules, so long as they got the job done. She was strangely moral for a Spectre - for a _human_.

Garrus knew that he wasn't receiving any sort of special treatment. She'd offered everyone a chance to settle old debts, so long as it didn't veer too far from their main objective.

How lucky was it that Saleon just happened to be on the way? How lucky was Garrus that he would be able to finally bring the bastard down? He vaguely hoped he would be able to save the people the doctor brought with him as well; though, considering how long they'd been out of contact, he knew those chances were slim to none.

"Alright Vakarian, are you ready?" Shepard clapped him on the shoulder as she made her way to the elevator.

His mandibles flexed in anticipation before calling back, "Yes ma'am." He was afraid that saying anything more would betray just how much he was looking forward to this. His plates itched, and already he could feel the predatory urge to hunt, to take down his prey. Garrus made the decision to leave his sniper rifle behind, knowing there wouldn't be much use for it in small areas like the doctor's ship. There was nothing quite like the feeling of watching a well-aimed shot soar straight through an enemy's skull, but he'd settle with an assault rifle today; he also strapped in his pistol as back up.

He glanced over his shoulder once, watching as Tali checked her weapons before moving to stand in front of the elevator shaft with Shepard. The two chatted briefly while waiting for him. He closed the airlock door and walked over to the small group, noting how easy the conversation between the two had been going, like it didn't matter to either of them that one was quarian and the other human.

Boarding had been easy - no alarms blared, no welcoming party. With only one way on and off the station, Garrus knew that Dr. Saleon wouldn't have a chance to escape this time. He didn't bother holding back the grin that would be well hidden beneath his helmet. It faded quickly, however, as years of practice and experience in the field started to kick in.

Tali kept her eyes on their right and left flanks, and Shepard on the front as they walked slowly to what should have been the main cargo room. These things were pretty much always built the same, but even as they cleared rooms Garrus made sure to pay attention to their rear.

Thus far, they'd been able to make it through without engaging any hostiles. But then he heard something like a faint growling sound, or maybe a it was a hiss?

"Keelah..." he heard the quarian whisper through their radio connection. Rounding the corner were a group of humanoids, eating one of their own. As if on cue, they turned in their direction and lurched forward.

Tali was able to take down two with her shotgun, and Shepard picked off the ones further back with a pistol. Garrus took care of the one flanking to their right, cursing when one got a little too close for comfort. They looked like husks, minus all the cybernetics.

It was over rather quickly. As they looked around at the aftermath, they located the only other door, which should have led to the control room and a smaller storage area.

Shepard walked over to the body of what the humanoids had been eating - a human female. Fresh kill. Talon shook her head and looked back over to Garrus. "Know anything about this, Vakarian?" she asked while moving away from the female's form.

He had a pretty good idea of what was going on, although he really didn't want to say it. "The number of bodies here matches the number of employees the doctor took with him when he fled the Citadel. I don't know the exact number, but this looks about right." His own voice was cold, detached.

He had personally known some of the victims the doctor took with him. This was why he wanted to blow the criminal out the damn sky, to prevent something like this from happening. How many of these people had families? How many had trusted Saleon to take care of them and lost their lives as the price?

Tali and Shepard checked the pilot room while Garrus watched the door and their backs.

“Find anything?” he heard Shepard ask while Tali worked her magic on the computer systems.

“Just some information on their procedures and experiments,” the quarian answered after a while. “Mostly data on how they grew and harvested the organs, statistics on who bought what...”

Shepard shook her head and with a heavy sigh held her weapon at the ready. “Make a copy and send it to my omni tool. I’ll look over it later and see if any of it could relate to Saren or the Reapers.”

This only left the smaller cargo room that was adjacent to them. Shepard moved to the outside of the door then gave the hand signal to wait on the count to three. On the third count they opened the door and stormed in, arms at the ready.

"Oh, thank goodness!" The salarian doctor stood still with his hand wide and open in surrender. Garrus tried hard to fight fury from spreading to his chest, which slowly gave way to annoyed anger when Saleon tried to explain that his patients held him hostage and turned into monsters. Was there no end to the treachery that this man would try and devise?

"That's him Commander, Dr. Saleon. Don't let this man fool you." He kept careful aim on the doctor's head, finger on the trigger. "I’d like skin you and harvest your organs, but we don’t have the time. You won’t get away this time." he growled.

"Don't be absurd!" the doctor stammered. "This turian is crazy! My name is Heart, Doctor Heart."

Garrus was glad when Shepard brushed the salarian's excuse aside. "Nice try. We know who you are, and we're going to find out just what you were doing here." Shepard lowered her weapon. "Once we turn you in."

_What? No!_ Garrus hadn't come all this way, just to hand Saleon over to the people who'd let him go in the first place. "Commander, you can't be serious. He's right here," he pleaded. "We can't just let him go, not again." Garrus jerked his weapon forward when he noticed the doctor move suddenly.

"Vakarian."

It took all he had to move his eyes from the target and focus on Shepard. She didn't move anything but her head, to look at him. Her visor hid her face, but he could guess her expression from her voice. She was giving him the call..

This wasn't fair. All the lives he'd took, all the people he deceived. The shame this man had brought down upon Garrus, for his failure in letting him get away.

_His_ failure... He didn't want Saleon dead because it was the right thing to do. He wanted him dead so he could feel the satisfaction. Finish his hunt.

Garrus felt dirty. Finally, he lowered his weapon and searched for the cuffs that were attached to the back of his armor. He couldn't kill the doctor after realizing that it would have been for personal satisfaction. He wouldn't let this guy taint his conscience. He didn't expect to come to this conclusion, however, right before it was time to take him in.

Although, he should have expected Saleon to run when he had the chance.

Garrus was going to sprint after him, but the sudden sound of a fired shot stopped him in his tracks. He saw Saleon crumble to the ground, dead. When he looked behind him Shepard had just moved from firing position and holstered her weapon.

_Did he really just die? Right there? After all that?_

"I don't understand," Garrus muttered. He could have caught the salarian easily and brought him down. And even then he wouldn't have had anywhere to run, other than boarding the Normandy and risk being captured there.

"There's no telling what other weapons could be hidden here, and given what he did to his patients I didn't want to risk him bringing something dangerous on board with the crew." Shepard waved over Tali, who began to take pictures of the body and compile a field report. They would leave the bodies here and notify the Alliance, who would come to clean up the place later and take the corpses to a proper morgue, after conducting a few studies.

Garrus understood her reasoning, but it still didn't sit right with him. If that was how she felt about it, then why not just kill him from the start?

As if reading his mind, Shepard clapped him on the back, signaling them to make their walk back to the ship. "If he had chosen to come with us, I would have been less suspicious of him trying anything. But he ran." she explained. "That means he was more likely to fight us if he had any chance. He made his choice, so I made mine. I wouldn't have blamed you for shooting him then either, but you were going to chase him down instead."

He couldn't help but notice the smile in her voice, and grumbled, "I didn't think it'd be hard to stop him."

"Maybe it wouldn't have been." she mused, "but I wasn't going to risk him harming a member of my crew. That includes you, Garrus."

They entered the decontamination chamber, but he really couldn't think of anything else to say. This human woman had only known him for a few weeks, and already considered him to be one of her own. She didn't shun him, didn't care about his renegade way of thinking, his past. She only asked for results, and if she disagreed with his way of doing things she merely talked to him, and explained herself.

On a turian ship you followed orders, and didn't question the captain or commander about it. It wasn't your place. But Shepard almost went out of her way to get to know everyone, to change her way of communication, to make sure she got her point across and understood everyone as well. It was more than diplomatic, she didn't play a role, no... He could see that she was just that type of person. Whether she was born this way or if it was something she'd learned, it was a trait he knew he didn't have to fear, one he would admire.

"Good job, shore party," came a greeting from Lieutenant Alenko. Tali moved onto the elevator while Shepard and Kaidan walked over to Officer Pressley, giving him a report of the events off the Normandy. Even though he was well near the stairs, his superior hearing picked up a bit of their conversation.

"Huh, I was sure the turian would take the kill shot before you could lift a finger, considering his... colorful history." This came from the younger of the two human males. He couldn't blame him for thinking that; Garrus had gotten more than his fair share of demerits, ranging from excessive force to damage of public property. He was sure he was only still in due to his father's shadow looming over him - who would risk the dishonor of firing a Vakarian firstborn? It's probably why command was so easily persuaded to let him assist the Spectre on her mission. There was more honor in a death while taking down Saren who had gone rogue. If he were to lose his life on this mission, no one would miss him anyway.

"I didn't doubt him for one minute, Alenko. Garrus is a lot more than his service record and he's proven that he's committed to the cause. That's enough to get him my trust."

Garrus walked on, not wanting to eavesdrop after hearing that she trusted him. He kept his face blank, trying to hide how good that comment actually made him feel. His commander trusted him, and made it known to her second in command when they showed doubt in his abilities. He'd be sure to never betray her trust.


	4. Chapter III

**Garrus**

 

Garrus wasn't exactly sure what to make of the last mission. Scratch that — he wasn't sure of what to make of how he _felt_ about the last mission.

He'd spent so long regretting that he'd missed his chance to capture Saleon, and the only thing that had kept that itch at bay was his investigation against Saren. With the events of the last mission, after finally taking down Saleon, it had him thinking a lot more than he cared to admit.

Shepard was convinced that everyone deserved a second chance — maybe more — and that, so long as someone showed a willingness to change, they should be given that chance. She knew of the evil things that Saleon had done, saw the results of his experiments, read the logs and was able to determine the type of callousness it took to use such methods. After seeing the reports himself, Garrus couldn't help but ask her if she would have given him a chance still, now that she knew everything.

Surprisingly, her answer remained the same.

_"Garrus, who are we to play God?" she had asked while they were dining in the mess hall. "We have to make so many choices and we can never completely understand the outcomes they could bring. Each life I have taken, I regret. Each and every one," she said carefully, being sure to maintain eye contact with him. "If I can avoid taking anyone's life, if I see a way to save everyone, I'll shoot for it so long as it doesn't jeopardize my mission or crew."_

_"That sounds like a very heavy burden to carry, Commander." Garrus was sitting at attention, his shoulders stiff and hands in his lap._

_She sighed, waving her hands to signal him to relax, and with the gesture he could see the weight of responsibility on her shoulders. The lonely yet stubborn set of her jaw as she rested her head in the palm of her hands, her elbows supporting it on the table. "It's been my downfall many times over, but you know what?" She lifted her head and smiled, showing teeth. Garrus tensed but quickly relaxed, knowing she wouldn't be aware of the gesture that would've been an unspoken challenge to any other turian._

_"I don't want to change that about myself. I know one day I won't care. One day the damn Council will send me over the edge by not listening, and at that point, I probably won't give a damn how they want to handle everything. I'll end up doing things my way, without their support. I just hope I don't become Saren when it happens."_

_She had seemed so sure, so confident that this change was absolute Garrus hadn't known what to say. She had come to him in confidence and opened herself so casually that he couldn't figure out if he should rest easy and give his opinion or simply listen quietly. Who was he to offer her advice?_

_"I don't think you could ever become Saren, Commander Shepard." Garrus opted to rest easy, since she had remained informal with him after their mission with Saleon — not that he minded. His mandibles flared as he flashed a smile. "You probably couldn't hope to look as good."_

_She'd just stared at him, her smile dropped open, a look of shock possessing her features. He had been afraid that he went too far, and would have apologized if it wasn't for her sudden laughter, echoing down the halls. He'd scratched the back of his head in relief, wiping his hand over the top of his fringe, eventually laughing softly along with her._

_"Well Garrus, it's good to know you have a sense of humor," she giggled, trying to calm down. "That's good, I'll need it."_

 

Garrus briefly looked up from the work bench, having picked up the sound of footsteps moving into the elevator shaft, and went back to work stripping and cleaning his weapons. He'd been thinking about that particular conversation on and off all day now.

The turian wasn't sure what drew him to that memory. Was it because he never realized she could laugh like that? For a short moment, she didn't show any worries, didn't have the drag that came from having responsibilities. Garrus snapped his weapon back into place, satisfied with his work, and began disassembling his assault rifle. Working in the same manner as he had done with his sniper rifle, his thoughts traveled back to his conversation with Shepard.

It felt good to be able to become a confidant to his commanding officer; it proved her words to him earlier. That she trusted him. Even though she was human, she was doing one of the few things turians didn't take for granted, and he knew she meant it. He'd taken the unspoken invitation, and continued to listen to her when she needed it, as she had done for him many times already.

It was a strange thought — he hadn't had many friends after being assigned to C-Sec. Most of them either died in service to the Hierarchy, or joined the Blue Suns — a mercenary group, and thus a group of people that Garrus had to maintain distance from due to career differences. Shepard would be the closest thing to a friend, comrade, or even simply a trusted teammate that he'd had in a long time.

He never had many partners in C-Sec. They'd only ever slowed him down, and some were so green they barely had roots in the ground. However, when all this was over — after they defeated Saren and stopped the Reapers — what would he do? Could he go back to C-Sec and work under watchful eyes and follow rules and regs as they were meant to be followed? Garrus began wiping the lubrication and oil off his hands after putting his rifle back together.

"Maybe it's time to cut the cord," he muttered to himself as he opened his locker and placed the cleaned weapons aside. His father was taking his resignation pretty hard — working with Shepard on her mission to capture Saren wasn't something the older turian felt should be bragged about. Spectres were above the law, and _no one_ should be held above the law. It could corrupt anyone — Saren was the best example of this, or at least that's what his father thought.

Garrus had once been considered a candidate, but in order to get the training you needed to have a sponsor. Since his father was head of the C-Sec program, his candidacy was quickly vetoed. There was no way Garrus would have become a Spectre if his father had a say in the matter. Still, it was better than what his grandfather said when it was announced to the clan that Garrus would be leaving C-Sec. The old man was more pissed that his grandson had chosen to work with humans. The First Contact War had cost him a lot of friends, and like most veterans of the war, he wasn't too keen on forgetting them so easily.

' _The Spectre program went to shit the day they let that human in_!' his grandfather wrote in his letters to his eldest grandson. At least his father had more _moral_ reasons for not wanting Garrus to join.

He looked over his shoulder at the sound of voices coming down the hall. Shepard was making her nightly rounds, getting to know everyone on the crew, finding out if they needed anything before she went to bed.

Garrus found himself wondering if the Commander got much — if any — sleep. Surely she had enough paperwork to complete, without the added stress of talking to every single member of her crew.

Whatever she had to say to Wrex must have been short, because it wasn't long before she walked over to him. "Commander Shepard, how are you?" He nodded briefly in her direction as she stood in front of him, hands on her hips, a welcoming smile on her face.

"Hey, Garrus. I'm doing well, thanks." She smiled briefly.

He briefly wondered when she had started using his first name, then shrugged it off. It didn't bother him. "What brings you down today?"

"Oh you know, making the rounds before everyone runs off to their private time. Although I have a sinking suspicion that when everyone sees me they have a cold bucket of reality thrown in their face." She frowned, casting her eyes down. "Trying to work on that."

Garrus chuckled and caught the strange look Williams shot him from the across the bay. Shepard must have noticed as well, because she turned towards the same direction.

"Ah, Chief Williams," she said, as if that was an explanation itself. "Don't worry. I've already talked to her about her...concerns." She smirked on the last word.

Garrus only shook his head. "So long as she doesn't actually kiss me, I don't care what she does or says." He blinked for a moment then quickly added, "So long as it doesn't involve a gun pointed in my direction, anyway. She isn't as good as I am with a sniper rifle, but she's a pretty damn good shot in everything else."

Shepard cocked her head to the side and folded her arms across her chest. "I don't remember you being a part of that conversation, Garrus. How'd you know what was said?" Garrus merely shrugged then tapped a gloved talon to the side of his head. Thankfully, she was more amused than pissed about the breach in privacy.

"They don't show as well as yours, but a turian's ears aren't easily rivaled."

That one earned a bristle. "How good is your hearing exactly?" Her eyes narrowed and watched as Garrus shifted in place, suddenly feeling like an experiment strapped to a medical table. He cleared his throat, resisting the urge to take a step back as he continued, "I'm not really sure how to compare it. From here, I can hear someone's footsteps entering the elevator shaft on the main floor... In the mess hall I could hear what's going on in the med bay if it weren't protected. Though it's easy enough to drown out if my mind is preoccupied."

"Huh." Shepard relaxed her stiffened shoulders. "I would think that could be a problem when dealing with classified information on a turian ship."

Garrus shook his head. "Not really. The ships are built to keep the more private areas secure. Thicker walls and glass, to at least muffle the sounds of anyone inside. Besides, most turians wouldn't risk any leaked classified information through childish gossiping." His mandibles twitched with a frown, noting a blank stare from his partner in the conversation. Her eyes were distant as if in thought, but quickly came to, making eye contact.

"I'm guessing it wouldn't do as well in our suits if we're infiltrating, huh?"

"It would be convenient, but the material in the suits does well in handicapping anything outside of close contact," he affirmed.

"I see." Shepard nodded, then turned as if to walk away. "It was good talking to you, Garrus."

"Uh, Commander, if I may?" he quickly asked, claws extended in her direction.

She looked back, turning to face him after having stopped her. "What is it?" She seemed a little concerned, probably worrying about what he would ask.

"I've been thinking and... Well, um, it seems that it would be okay to be a bit informal in our conversations." He winced, waiting for reprimand.

"You wouldn't be wrong. I do expect proper protocol in public, however." She nodded, rolling onto her left hip for support. She suddenly looked very tired as she said quietly, "In private, or on the ship in general, I'm pretty relaxed with everyone. What do you have for me?"

Garrus bent his head forward, relieved to know he made the right decision earlier. "Do you plan on capturing Saren alive?" He had lowered his voice, as if afraid someone would overhear them.

Shepard smiled, amused, then bent a little forward to whisper, "I think you're the only turian on this ship." Her eyes twinkled as she continued, "and..." She took a deep breath, moving her hands to clasp behind her head, stifling a yawn, " ' _I'd like to_ ' is what I thought at first. I'm sure that it won't happen. I'll try, but I think Saren is too far gone. What could possibly drive someone to work against his own sense of..."

"Humanity?" Garrus offered after seeing her struggle with the right phrase, earning him an appreciative smile.

"I don't know the turian equivalent of the word," she said apologetically.

He understood — having worked with a different species, one realized that many didn't have a good way to translate meanings to other languages, or explain cultural differences. Their VI translators could only do so much. "In our language, we call what you know as humanity, a spirit."

Shepard quirked a brow. "A spirit? I didn't take you for the religious sort."

"I'm not." He quickly shook his head, holding his hands up in defense. "The Great Spirits, we don't worship them. They simply are." He shrugged and then sat down on one of the two crates that he usually occupied between his breaks from repairing the Mako, and gestured for Shepard to take the other, continuing only after she did so.

"You see, when enough people or even one person feels strongly enough about a goal or resolve, a spirit is born and it serves as the representation... You could even call it a guardian, of the person or people it was born to." He took a shallow breath, wondering how better to explain a part of his culture to a human. He wasn't one for these types of conversations — hell, usually if his superiors weren't telling him _not_ to do something, he was showing new recruits how to do it. Speaking like some amateur scholar placed him a bit out of his comfort zone.

"So, like angels then?" Shepard tried to catch up to his meaning. Fortunately, he knew what the humans' angels were.

"Not exactly. Maybe more like your Saints. We don't expect these spirits to protect us — not physically at least. We pray to them, and hope they guide us mentally and spiritually. Once a mission is done, or a goal is met, the spirit no longer exists. Although we are taught that we ourselves are also spirits, meant to pass on or guide our loved ones once our time has come."

"Hmm." She leaned back, crossing her right leg over the top of her left thigh and leaned her head to the side. "So what Saren has lost is his spirit, then."

Again, Garrus shook his head. "We have a word for those in my language — _Mor'loci_ , one who has no spirit or honor, nothing to live for, nothing to pass on. Saren would be close; he is a disgrace to turians everywhere, and that's putting it mildly. However, he has something to live for, a purpose that drives him. His spirit has been tainted, but it's there nonetheless. If it weren't, he'd have no driving force to do what he is doing now."

The commander shook her head. "That seems worse to me."

"It would be. Fortunately, Saren still will have a sense of self preservation, where a _mor'loci_ would not. No one can kill something that is already dead."

 

 

**Feron**

 

 

                            _SB,_

_Dr. T'Soni is aware of your special client, and is currently working on a plan that would hinder your contract with them. This could cause disruption in trades for technology and further information. Requesting permission to terminate._

                                                                                                                                                                                             - F

_F,_

_Keep her alive for now; I want to know how she acquired this information. I want to know her sources; names, meetings, safe houses and bolt holes, anything that you can find. It's best to remain on her side for now. I will send the call for termination when I have the information I need, or when she becomes a serious liability... whichever comes first._

_-SB_

Feron leaned back in his arm chair after deleting the last few messages from his terminal, and then began reformatting the entire system so that it couldn't be traced later.

Truthfully, he hadn't expected things to go this smoothly. And while he didn't completely trust Liara, he didn't want to kill her either.

He could feel the corners of his mouth turn downward. Using his hands to massage his face, he moved from his seat and began to change into what he intended to wear for the day. A blue coat, opened in the front to allow for better ventilation in the slightly humid city, and a matching pair of slacks with blue markings. The dark colors did well in making the rainbow scales on his face less impressionable.

While his species were often called beautiful, he realized that to some, it could be seen as a feminine trait.

It felt a bit strange not to be able to speak his thoughts aloud like he usually did when faced with an enigma, but he had to be bit more mindful of what he said. The drell was sure his room was bugged, and the last thing he needed was the Shadow Broker knowing that Liara somehow came from the future. He hardly believed it himself, and he wasn't even sure what the man would do with the information, but he sure as hell wasn't in the mood to find out. Feron was suspicious, but not curious.

"First thing on the agenda today..." He trailed, data pad in hand and scrolling through his to-do list. Liara had given him the task of acting as some sort of liaison; she hired the goons, and he went out to meet them as her representative. He didn't really mind, but her immediate trust in him was worrisome. True, she gave the right signals. But while he certainly believed her, he wasn't ready to completely burn the bridge that was still keeping him afloat. No, she was desperate, and he could see that.

Desperation was the key ingredient to making life changing — hell, _life ending_ mistakes. And he'd made enough of those to last a lifetime. For now he would bide his time, and see if what she had said was going to pass would even come true. If it did then his boss would be handled as it was meant to be; if not, he could keep his life, avoid two years of torture, and hopefully find another blue alien that made him feel like it was all worth it. Simple, right?

To be honest, he felt a little dirty, playing the double agent against Liara. But what else could he do? He couldn't act without definitive proof — all he could do was watch his own back, and help her out as much as he could without compromising his own position.

It would be enough... right?

If lungs could completely deflate, his would have with the sigh he heaved after that thought. Already he was at the meeting location that Liara assigned to him and the help, and he had no more information on them except their names. A human thief named Kasumi Goto, and a drell assassin named Thane Krios. He had heard the two names before, but Thane was a common name among their species and Krios only meant he was adopted by a hanar clan, which was also common. Kasumi was as strange as any human name could get. But what were the odds of Liara, a small time information broker, having the connections needed to get a hold of professionals like those two?

_They had_ to be different people than who he was thinking of.

He soon had his answer, however, when he felt a tap on his left shoulder. Feron jumped back, noticing a slightly taller figure behind him. Dark green scales, black markings that faded into maroon colored gills. His suit was dark, and his stance calm, seemingly unguarded.

Thane Krios — _the Thane Krios_ — stood there with both hands behind his back and a grin dipped in light amusement. He didn't have the eyes of a killer, didn't have anything about him that screamed 'I bathe daily in blood', but Feron wasn't fooled. Very few knew his face and lived to tell the tale. Liara had somehow managed to pick up a very dangerous hand.

The drell bowed his head. "I didn't mean to frighten you. Please accept my deepest apologies." He stood straight once more, never moving his hands, his black and grey eyes staring into Feron's own, sending a cold chill down his spine.

"Ah, don't mention it." He wasn't really sure how to respond to the older drell; he felt a bit star struck... and afraid. Well, his neck was still in place, so that must have meant it was going well.

"I'm guessing you're my contact then?" Another voice came from their left side, a petite woman walking quickly towards them and making no sounds as she moved. "Ah... Thane Krios. Well, I guess that answers my question on whether or not I would actually be working with you." A black hood, matching a dark gray cat suit, covered her face — the only thing showing from beneath were dark eyes that glinted in the light; a sign of genetic modification. Feron knew those eyes would enable the rising thief to see in the dark. "Well, this is going to be an interesting job, just as Keiji said," she continued, resting a delicate hand on the small of her waist. "I'm not really sure how your boss even got a hold of our contact, but her signing bonus was enough to gain our support. So tell me, Feron was it? What job requires the work of a master assassin," she gestured toward Thane, "and the best thief alive?"

The movement of her head was very slight, tilting as if she heard something in the distance, but her gaze never left Feron, a coy smile lighting her face.

Feron cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his surprise. The drell felt a bit embarrassed having underestimated Liara's ability. She'd told him what to expect, and he didn't believe her — it was almost enough to waiver his resolve in staying true to the Shadow Broker...almost. This didn't prove that she wasn't acting with quick desperation. Could he completely trust someone that gave him such important information from the start?

Had he been a different person, her trust would have gotten herself killed, and placed anyone else involved in danger. Shepard wouldn't have a chance. She was lucky he wasn't different.

"Mrs. Goto, I was beginning to worry." Feron did his best to keep his voice smooth, even glancing at the small watch he wore for added emphasis. "You were running late." He glanced towards Thane and opened a hand toward the doors which would lead to the docking bay in an offer to lead. "Since you both already accepted payment, I assumed everything in the report my boss provided you was adequate. If you'll follow me to the ship, I can give more details."

He didn't move, waiting for one of them to break the steadily building silence. Either Thane was confident that the smaller drell couldn't sneak anything on him, or he thought Feron was too weak to be considered a threat, because he was the first to walk in the direction offered. Kasumi, on the other hand, outstretched her own hand, moving with Feron as he led the other to where their ship was docked.

"It's Miss Goto actually, if you feel the need to use English honorifics...Goto-san is also fine. I've never been married." Her snort was light when she noticed Feron's mystified stare. "Don't tell me non-humans haven't gotten used to the fact that we have more than one culture, much less language?" She skipped a step and then waved a hand, shaking her head. "I guess I can't say too much on that. Even to other humans we all look like, and I can't expect you to be interested in the many cultures we have."

Feron wasn't all too sure she was still talking to him, having seen her eyes wander into the distance with that pause. He sucked in a sigh and rolled his neck as their ride came into view. This was already going to be a long day. He didn't expect much trouble from Thane — to be honest, the kills in his dossier spoke for themselves. But he wasn't sure how to handle a bold little human, much less one who seemed bent on giving him a cultural lesson.

Contrary to his prior beliefs, Kasumi was very quiet from there on out, not once interrupting him or questioning what was to happen on the mission after giving his briefing. Thane had only asked for the names of the targets. She, however, listened quietly, her quirkiness completely faded into professionalism and stealth. The only trace of her spunky personality from earlier was the smile she constantly wore while observing the crew that "volunteered" for their mission.

" _Courtesy of Zaeed Massani_ " was what Liara told him when he asked how they were going to acquire a large amount of processed blue azure and red sand, on top of getting a crew and the funds needed to cart it back to wherever she needed it to go.

Honestly, the thought of acquiring either of the drugs made him more than a little uneasy. Blue azure was legal on any asari colony, but illegal anywhere else due to the ill effects it had on alien species.

For asari, it simply allowed more than two participants in a joining session at once. But it could cause lack of willpower in turians, practically turning them into puppets. For drell, it made them vulnerable to their own venom — they would suffer from the same hallucinations the humans did when ingested. But it also ran the risk of increasing their oxygen intake, leaving them high and often disoriented. Worst of all, you didn't have to snort or even inject it. A single puff in the air was all it took to get the full effect; the quantity only dictated how long it would last.

A single puff, and here they were about to acquire a literal ton of it.

Feron suppressed a nervous shrug, sparing a glance towards Kasumi. _Maybe I'll find out what it does to humans_. His thoughts caused him to take another look at their objective report.

The mission was simple; Zaeed needed a personal matter taken care of. Apparently he was the one who founded the Blue Suns, but had been betrayed by the current co- executive Vido Santiago, due to differing views on new members. Basically Zaeed wasn't a fan of batarians, slavers, or batarian slavers, which is where Vido was acquiring funds without mentioning much about it to Massani. Vido set up a sting to capture the older mercenary and excommunicate him from the group — excommunication, meaning a bullet in the head.

Zaeed planned to take back the suns after dealing with the current leaders. Apparently the batarians followed nepotism when assigning ranks, which made things easier than they needed to be, for Feron's group anyway.

Zaeed's contact was able to pass on that the Suns had started hitting human colonies for slaves, mostly in nasty retaliation of the Skillian Blitz — in part, because human slaves held the most value out of the other races — and Zaeed knew the next target; Mindoir.

Kasumi was supposed to head in, block all outgoing radio frequencies, and find the exact coordinates of their cargo ship, The MSV Strontium, while Thane and Zaeed flanked Charn and Bray Del'Serah for capture. They only needed one alive as a hostage to gain access to the Strontium Mule. Feron would stay back on their own ship until they received access to board and keep the mercs at bay. The red sand and blue azure on board would go to Liara as payment, and Zaeed would be one step closer in getting his revenge and taking back the Blue Suns.

_Everyone wins_ , Feron thought dryly.

His thoughts were interrupted when Kasumi and Thane moved from their seats in the command center and towards the cargo bay around back. The ship's layout was a bit strange, but it was small, only meant for transposition and delivery. Less suspicious that way, Feron supposed, but useless in a firefight. Luckily the Blue Sun's craft wouldn't be armed, so it didn't matter so long as they didn't encounter any anti-aircraft guns on the ground — the shuttle wasn't exactly equipped for firepower, either.

Feron nodded briefly when Kasumi waved off, while Thane remained aloof.

The guy kinda creeped him out, but as long as he was on payroll Feron could only remind himself that assassin would remain on their side.

Kasumi

_"It's a bloody massacre out here, and for some reason the fucking colony hasn't sent out a distress signal."_ Kasumi recognized the voice of their mission's sponsor, Zaeed. She wasn't sure if he would even remember her, but the merc was once hired to make sure she couldn't complete a job back on Earth; to steal a perfect replica of ' _The Last Supper_ '.

It hadn't even been a problem of stealth. The petite woman shuddered at the memory of his 'security measures', which pretty much entailed rigging the whole damn room with explosives — the wire even ran through the ceiling tiles — and the only one with the detonator was Zaeed himself. She could still remember the grin on the old fool's face, as he was sitting in a chair and watching the painting on the other side of missile proof glass. And all the while, he whistled the tune of 'Catch me if you can' and thumbed the red button to the control.

All for a faux? She had turned it down and taken the blemish to her record — she even gave the guy a refund. Something she hardly ever did.

Live to steal another day, after all.

She reeled back from her lapse of ADHD. Zaeed's crude narration wasn't false; before them was a scene painted with fear and brutality. Windows smashed out, smoke billowing from their dark depths, and the smell of burning flesh was faint in the artificial breeze.

Liara had warned them earlier to wear oxygen masks, since the Blue Suns had by now found out that blue azure left humans weak and defenseless at first. And once it started to kick in, it often left them with very... primitive urges. It increased their sex drive, and sometimes triggered flight or fight instincts and kept it to the fore front of their minds.

Although, from lack of information from Feron on the effects it would have on humans, it was obvious that Liara hadn't told him everything about this mission. Or, Kasumi suspected, whatever mission would be assigned to them after this one was completed. She hadn't expected that he wouldn't even know about the fact that the Suns had been responsible for weaponizing the drug in the first place.

_Oh well, I'm not being paid to ask questions. Whatever is going on between them has nothing to do with me_. But she _was_ curious.

Kasumi opened her omni tool and with a few clicks, she could hear the small hum that came with the activation of her concealment cloak, hiding her form from enemy eyes. She glanced towards Thane who had managed to catch up to her, and said quietly, "I'm guessing you have a way to keep their eyes off you?"

"Most do not see when death is near," he smirked, as if that were some of inside joke. Did the guy lack in confidence, or did he seriously consider himself a god of death? A reaper? Now there was an ironic thought. She looked him from head to toe, placing a hand on her hip.

"Well, I'll go do my job then. Let me know if you need back up." She tapped her right ear where her communicator rested, then remembered the drell wouldn't be able to see her. She did catch his amused grin before she ran towards her objective. She had taken the liberty of memorizing the colony's layout while they were on the ship.

Of course she could have had the nav point uploaded to her omni tool. But while the slavers wouldn't be able to see her with even infrared sensors, mechs or the right VI's would be able to detect anything uploaded to their navigation grid.

Before climbing a ladder, which was only a few feet away from where they stood, she looked back to check and see if Thane had begun to move, only to notice he was gone. No trace.

_He couldn't have gotten that far already?_ She shook her head, remembering that she couldn't afford to be distracted.

As she climbed into the first bunker, stepping carefully around pieces of broken glass, debris and a few batarian and colonist corpses, she could hear the increasing sounds of gunshots and screams further in the distance.

She approached the broken door that lead to the main clearing, and her stomach lurched as she watch a pair of mercenaries gun down a group of male teens. When they'd made sure the teens wouldn't be getting up again, they then quickly sprinted into another building, firing more rounds and dragging out a young girl moments later.

She screamed, crying for anyone to help her while one of them wrestled her to the ground, her kicking and punches doing nothing against their armor. One of the guards pulled her hair back and held her still while his partner held a small bottle to her face. There was a small puff of blue mist, she breathed it in, and soon her eyes were glazed over, fear instantly replaced by a blissful smile.

Kasumi padded over to the entrance of a lab, not being able to stand the laughter that came from the batarians who'd captured their prey. She had a job to do, but she swore that after this mission she'd find the batarians responsible for this and do some serious sabotage.

Besides more signs of damage and a few more corpses, Kasumi didn't run into any other problems on the way to the main security controls. She deactivated her cloak after seeing that the coast was clear, closed the door behind her, and started hacking the terminal to shut down the radio frequency and figure out where their slavery ship was hiding.

" _Any luck on the radios Kasumi?_ " Zaeed's familiar yet unwelcoming voice sounded from within her ear piece, his raspy tone saying her name with knowing. She shook her head, smiling wistfully, then froze when something moved out of the corner of her eye.

Whoever was hiding had to be pretty small to be able to conceal themselves between the body of a full bodied batarian and a varren.

"Shit!" she exclaimed aloud, and began to push away the desk that was blocking her way towards the intruder.

Under the bodies, huddled against the corner wall, was a small human girl who couldn't be any older than four or five. Her brunette hair was covered in crusted blood, which matched the stains on her clothes. She didn't look too wounded herself, just scrapes and bruises.

The child wasn't even wearing any shoes, and it was only after moving the desk further that Kasumi noticed a small broken pistol on the ground at the girls' feet and was able to piece together what happened. Judging from the wound on the batarian's neck, the varren must have caught him off guard — the poor animal was riddled with gunshot wounds in its side, though the batarian's helmet was also deeply caved in on the side. Kasumi couldn't be all too sure if he died from the varren's slow poisonous bite, or if the girl was able to find something to bash his head in.

"Hey, Zaeed." Kasumi pressed a hand to her ear, murmuring, "There's a kid here, she saw me. What do you want me to do?" She prayed the old brute wouldn't tell her to... take care of it. She didn't mind killing, but kids were another thing entirely. She stared into the girl's hazel green eyes, and said with her sweetest smile, "What's your name sweetie?"

"Elise," she replied meekly, shakily getting to her feet, reaching for the dead varren. "Papa said, Papa said — " Her eyes were watering now, as she tried to speak between shrill sobs.

" _She's a lucky one, if she's still alive. You're in the main controls though, right? Any chance you see a big pretty red button?You know, the kind they use to send out distress signals?_ ”

_That's right, the distress signal should have been in this room_. Although it wouldn't have been that obvious, it was under the desk of the console's screen, and pretty small. Elise could have been trying to reach it when she heard the doors open. "Were you trying to call for help?" Kasumi asked while rubbing the girls back. Elise didn't have much time to answer before hearing gun shots fire outside the door, a loud crash followed by a shudder through the floor.

Kasumi hardly had time to grab her weapon when the doors opened and Thane walked through. His usual calm demeanor was replaced by caution and mild annoyance.

"You were sloppy," he said simply, holstering his weapon and walking over to the main terminal. He read the information on the screen briefly, before inputting a string of codes which the computer accepted with a gracious ping. He then reached behind the computer desk and pressed the button on its bottom side.

"We have thirty minutes to find Bray and get out of here. I've activated the distress signal, and an Alliance fleet should be here at any moment. We can't take her with us," he added when Kasumi held onto the girl tightly.

"Well we can't just leave her here. And what about Charn?"

"Dead." Thane rolled his shoulders, loosening the thick muscle beneath them. "Stay if you wish — I merely assumed that you wanted to keep your identity hidden. But I'm sure the Alliance would love to accept your help and have suitable accommodations in mind for you... Kasumi Goto."

She covered the child's ears at the sound of her name and cursed, feeling terrible about leaving her in the middle of so much chaos. It was so much easier when she didn't have living representation of what she'd seen a few minutes ago. Now, she was regretting asking Elise for her name. Kasumi was seriously considering staying back and running the risk of getting caught.

No. If she stayed back, she would be caught. And Keiji would kill her if he had to break her out of a military compound again.

As if reading her thoughts, the drell walked back towards the doors he came from. "I've cleared the way here. With Charn dead, everyone's panicking and making their way to Bray on the other side of the area, perhaps in hopes to deter us and to hold their ground. They'll see the Alliance coming, then they'll kill the hostages, the incoming marines will kill anyone who looks suspicious. And you will make the girl look suspicious." Thane walked out, not even a ghost of his footsteps echoing in the halls.

Feeling a soft tug on her suit, Kasumi realized that Elise was trying to wiggle out of her arms. She let go and watched the girl prop the bodies near her hiding place and sat back against the corner wall. Her pale face showed just a tint of green while she moved the bodies around and atop her petite form. From behind the shredded neck of the batarian she glared at the thief, a tear stained face full of fear and determination. "They took my papa," she whimpered, even as her face set hard as stone. "Kill them all. Elise will never tell." She then ducked her head down further into her makeshift fort.

Kasumi wasn't sure what to do, but knew that Thane had been right. And the best thief in the business had just been shown up in bravado by a five year old. She sucked in a breath and went back to the terminal, locking the system mainframe to prevent any tampering in case someone came in behind her.

She leaned down to the girl's hiding spot and lifted the corpse enough to set her own pistol inside. "You shoot anyone that isn't wearing Alliance colors. Don't let it overheat, or else it'll malfunction like the last one." She couldn't risk looking down at the child for too long — if she did, she couldn't be sure she would be able to leave.

Kasumi stood and quickly walked out the double doors, locked them behind her, activated her cloak, and set out to secure their extraction point.

"Oi! We've got Bray." The old man's laugh was grating against her ears. " _Please tell me you've hacked the damn terminal to signal his taxi, and blocked any outgoing communication to his ship? I don't want any surprises._ "

"I checked before I bolted the doors, the Strontium sent down a shuttle with an auto pilot for extraction. I'll meet you there." She took a shaky breath, the outside now oddly eerie with its silence, given what she had witnessed only a few moments earlier.

How did they manage to clear everyone so fast? There were a few dead batarians slavers lying around, but even more colonists. It was hard to tell if they'd died from resisting capture or if it was her squad.

It was possible that the slavers had been able to make it off the planet and into another ship — they only targeted the Strontium because it was where the drugs and the leaders remained.

She boarded the landing shuttle and took her place in its pilot seat. Within five minutes Thane, Zaeed and their honored guest strutted in, Bray in cuffs and a little worse for wear. When the shuttle's hatch didn't close, Zaeed smacked the butt of his assault rifle in the back of the batarian's head, who muttered something under his breath then said, "Safe," loud and clear.

The shuttle's door closed, and it began to lift off. Muffled shots from outside told Kasumi that they were being attacked. "Looks like they finally figured out something was wrong," she noted, all smiles and cheer gone from her voice.

Zaeed merely grunted, his pleasure evident in the grin he wore. "Aye, lot of good it'll do them. The dreadnought coming is Steven's, he'll tear them up something good."

Kasumi wasn't sure if the ex-Blue Suns leader was talking to himself or to them. Either way, he didn't seem to care about a response; he was too busy riding on the high of victory, and with good reason. Boarding was easy enough. Kasumi had sent the coordinates of the Strontium to Feron, who ordered a boarding party from their cargo ship onto the slavers' ship.

 

Most of the mercenaries left their heavy hitters on Mindoir to secure the slaves and take off on a different unit. They'd already left the system, and with the blocked channels wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. Those who stayed behind were new and poorly armed. She and Thane knew the drill — the two had changed into a pair of space suits that were normally used when repairs had to be made outside the ship.

Zaeed changed as well, while Feron had the slave ship attached and towed out the system, just as the Alliance began to land onto the colony below.

When all was clear, Zaeed simply ushered the rest of the mercenary crew into the loading bay, freeing the slaves who remained in an open space outside their cells, and after putting Bray on his knees, shot the batarian leader between his lower eyes. The older members of the crew didn't seem too bothered, but some of the younger ones literally pissed themselves when Zaeed made a show of slashing out the dead batarian's upper eyes.

It would certainly make an impression, but she couldn't help but wonder if it was a bit... harsh.

"They believe that their souls rest within their smaller eyes. Taking them out means there is no hope that Bray will pass onto the afterlife," Thane told her through their radio.

Thane and Kasumi already had the magnets in their steel boots turned on when Zaeed leaned onto a lever that would open the cargo bay. "I gave you all a choice earlier. Some of your friends graciously took my offer, so now I am giving you one more chance. Join me in taking back the Suns, or follow your soulless commander into the void."

No one spoke up, and without skipping a beat Zaeed pulled the lever. Everyone who wasn't in the protective suits went flying out into the dark reaches of space. He closed the bulkhead once more, looking appreciatively at the large containers strapped down to the floor. "Tell your boy... Feron..." He didn't look too sure that he'd remembered the name right. "That everything here is his for the taking," he said with a gesture towards the crates. "Get it off my ship and we'll be on our way, just as we agreed."

At least he had freed the captured slaves, despite the gruesome show. Kasumi had to remember that Zaeed was actually decent, way deep down inside. Very deep.

Surprisingly, when the crates were loaded and after Feron got his report from Zaeed, Thane clasped the man on the wrist in a show of what appeared to be sportsmanship. Seeing the drell being so friendly with someone so quickly caused her to wonder what could have happened in those short moments they were on the ground.

She brushed it off, a headache from the day's events threatening to make her less than pleasant to deal with later on. She just wanted to go home. She came here for a kidnapping, not to witness a massacre. She was certain she wouldn't be able to sleep straight for at least a week.

Feron seemed pleasantly shocked after their reports. Kasumi couldn't help wonder if he even had faith in their ability to come back in once piece, nevertheless succeed.

No one said anything on the ride back afterwards. Kasumi preferred to blend into her background, remain unnoticed and recognizable when others were involved. It was then that a thought occurred to her. "Hey Krios," she called over, looking at the man sitting adjacent to her.

The older drell in question looked up from his hands, giving her his full attention.

"Yes, Goto-san," he replied. _Ah, he pays attention_ , she thought cheerily.

"For an assassin, you don't seem to hide your face often. Why is that?"

Thane tilted his head to the side. "Usually there is no need to. I don't deal with clients personally, and most of my targets are dead by the time they see my face. Or..." He seemed to think for a moment. "They're too smart to pursue me, treasuring their own life over petty revenge."

Well that made sense. If your crew died at the hands of someone so incredibly skilled, then normally you would want to stay away. But they'd fought batarians today. They weren't known to run away due to something as mundane as self-preservation, but were known for violent acts in the name of vengeance. She knew enough about Thane to know he lived a bit away from Mindoir, but she wasn't sure of just how well he understood this hostile race. "Aren't you afraid of retaliation?" she said quietly, thoughtfully. "Like it or not, we are murderers. Something's bound to come back to bite us in the ass one day."

"I am simply a tool working for its employer. I don't usually think about retaliation, as I am not the one committing these murders. As an instrument, I am merely carrying out the will my employer desires. "

Well that was a new one. How could he say that, without admitting that he had no sense of will? Did that mean he didn't feel guilty for his actions? "I don't understand," Kasumi muttered, turning further towards him. "Yes, our skills are valuable, but that doesn't make us tools. It most certainly doesn't make us any less accountable for the things we've taken, including lives."

He seemed to think a bit before replying, "We are like guns. Our souls aren't the bullets, Goto-san. We can't be held accountable for the things our bodies were made to master. An individual's actions do not always dictate someone's personality, and it doesn't summarize their entire life. We— "

"That's a bit different, Thane. My gun doesn't have a sense of free will," she retorted.

"Hmm." He smiled, opening his hands wide and offering them in a sign of peace and apology. "Forgive me if I offend, but humans have many religions in which they think their body and soul are two separate things. Once they pass, their soul goes off into a different plane, their body left behind and forgotten. I simply believe it's a bit more literal; my soul cannot be blamed for what my body has done."

That opened so many cans of worms she didn't even want to think about touching it. So she didn't, instead approaching this topic the same way she approached anything she didn't know how to handle. She took a deep breath, sat back, crossed her legs and her arms and looked away. "I see. I'll respect your opinion."

It was all she could say. Who was she to bash his religion and beliefs? Thane had a completely different upbringing and culture from her own, and she wasn't going to argue with someone who she would never see again, much less someone she would barely remember. Unlike Elise, however. Kasumi wasn't sure she would ever forget that little girl.

"You have given me things to think about though, Goto-san," Thane said, a ring of truth in his words. He didn't try to provoke her further or continue the conversation, taking the silent rejection in stride. He folded his hands over one another and moved his chin to rest on them, waiting to be taken back to the Illium docks and finally make it back home.

 

**Thane**

 

 

He'd been gone for almost two weeks. Away from his family, his home.

When he first made the decision to marry his wife, and somehow managed to convinced the hanar to release him of his compact, of working as their weapon and right arm, he thought he could enjoy a life free from violence and live a normal life. Even if he didn't know what that was.

But how did one who was taught nothing but the art of killing live a normal life?

He had no other talents outside of death, no other skills he could exploit to provide a clean life for the woman he loved. And when Irikah had come to him with news that they would be expecting their first child, he knew he had to come up with a better means of income.

With the support from his wife he took up freelance work, hit man jobs. The pay was good, but came with sacrificing being in his son's life. He was able to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. For a while, this was good, but then he began to notice the changes. The loving and welcoming eyes he had found in his wife grew cold and distant, and the more jobs he took, the further away he seemed to move from his only child. Thane wasn't exactly sure how to be a father in the first place — he never had one of his own. All he could do was offer them money, shelter, himself.

It wasn't enough; Irikah had found another man to give her and Kolyat, his son, what he could not — emotional support, a daily presence in their lives.

For the first time, Thane had experienced anger and shame. But he could not blame her; he could only blame himself for becoming blind, for not trying hard enough to make her happy.

Irikah agreed to try marriage counseling and came to the conclusion that a little space could give her the time to over think their relationship and their future together. He was never one to push her, could never tell her no.

It was why Thane took a job so far away in the first place; he wasn't good with too much time, didn't really know what to do besides work and became restless if he wasn't out doing something. With this contract, he had acquired enough funds to take a break for a while, to finally spend time with Irikah and Kolyat, find out what it meant to be a family.

Their counselor suggested he take up a hobby, maybe find something after he settled. With luck, Thane could find another skill and maybe quit assassination all together. He didn't mind it, but knew it would make Irikah happy.

That's what was on his mind as he come up to their door, upon returning from the mission. But before he could unlock it, Thane noticed that it was already open. From the letters he'd received from Irikah, he knew their son was staying with Irikah's sister for the weekend, to give them room to catch up and discuss something important.

His wife had developed a mild case of paranoia after once being attacked by a group of thugs while she was working in a lab. She always locked the doors behind her.

Panic sent ice through his veins. Thane quietly pushed the door open and walked into the foyer, dropping his bags. The door to the bathroom straight ahead was open, the inside empty and dark. To his left was a doorway that would lead to the kitchen and the main room. Somehow he knew, he would find something on the other side of that door.

His hands were quivering, and for the first time in his life he was experiencing fear.

True fear.

He opened the door, and on the ground before him was Irikah. Face down in a pool of her own blood.


	5. Chapter IV

**Thane**

 

He stood there, frozen in fear and disbelief at the sight before him. It was only due to the slight twitch of her hand that he was able to awaken from his trance. Thane rushed and knelt by her side and, as carefully as he could, turned her over to cradle her smaller form in his arms.

His Irikah, with beautiful orange scales that rivaled the first light dawn and red eyes that reflected her passion, lay dying in his arms. Her chest riddled with bullet holes.

He shifted her weight to his left arm and tried to work his omni tool, hoping to call for medical attention. But the sudden weak pressure on his hand, his wife's bloodied hand reaching out to him, brought his attention back to her. "My love, I have to call for help," he pleaded, trying to reason with her. He gave a mental praise to Kalahira that Kolyat was away from home.

"There is no point, Thane." As she coughed, fresh blood dripped from her mouth. She did her best, even now, to smile. "I have seen enough wounds to know when I will submit to my own."

What else could he do? He could feel the sharp sting of his teeth tearing into his lower lip. Clasping her hand against his chest, he closed his eyes. "Kalahira..." He began his prayer, hoping to offer comfort in her final moments before her soul departed. He opened them, mildly shocked at his own tears dripping onto the face of his beloved while she stroked his cheek.

"No, Thane," she whispered weakly. "There is only one thing that will offer me peace before I pass." She struggled to sit up, but Thane quickly stopped her in fear that she would pass sooner. "I have already said my prayer."

"Anything." His voice was harsh, desperate. What could he do? What was he supposed to do? What could he offer her with these hands that were only meant to take lives? _I can't save her._ His heart sank at the realization. These were their last moments together.

"I am afraid I have to be cruel to you, in our final hours. But how I wish I could have seen his face before I die," she admitted, no trace of guilt found in her dulling eyes. "I will not meet you across the sea, Thane." She turned her gaze away from man she was imagining and looked towards her husband. "Even now, I am lost in him. And while I regret the pain I have caused you, I cannot dishonor you with lies. I will not ask you for your forgiveness, only your understanding. I will not ask you to mourn me, only to move on and to keep our son...to keep Kolyat away from your way of life."

Her grip on him tightened as she pulled herself up to peer into his eyes, using her hands as if it was the only anchor that kept her chained into this world. Thane looked into his wife's eyes and realized she had gone blind from the fatality of her wounds.

He clasped her small wrists in one hand and held her close, lowering his head to speak softly in her ear. "You know there is only one way for me to do this, siha."

He couldn't suppress the shudder that traveled down his back at her next words. Her laugh was weak, mocking almost. "I am no longer your siha, Thane. Do what needs to be done; only then will I be able to rest in peace."

As he sat there, staring down at her, he suddenly felt that he couldn't do this. She was asking him to not only let her go, but to let go of the only good he had added to this cruel world — their son. He knew she wouldn't want this, but he couldn't help but hold her close, fresh blood warm spilling against the exposed skin on his chest.

He had come so far, fought so hard, was willing to change for her. He had finally had his family, and at the brink of this discovery it was being taken away.

"Irikah..." he sobbed, offering his plea only to realize that her labored breathing had quieted. Her hand was limp in his grasp, and her head hung back lifelessly.

Time for him froze in an instant.

Her eyes were wide, dull with no signs of life, a soft smile on her face. Thane noticed a small box where she had lain, unnoticed before under her body. It was a holo, containing a picture of a man he had seen only once before. An image of the turian real estate broker that had helped them find their new home. She must have held onto it as comfort in her final hours.

He wanted to hate this man, this turian who had come between him and his wife, destroyed everything he had. But Thane knew that wasn't right — he knew the true culprit was himself.

It was his lifestyle that had put his wife in danger, and if he continued, it would also endanger his son. The hanar that released him from his compact had been right. There was no true happiness for those who played in the dark — he did not deserve happiness, did not deserve a reason to live. Death would come to him and he would welcome it, even if it meant being alone on Kalahira's shore.

But before death embraced him, he had a few things to set right.

The first thing to do would be to find a safe home for his son and ensure he would not follow the path that marked him for misfortune. Then, to hunt down the men who killed his wife. And there was one person who he knew could soon have access to unlimited information.

He set Irikah's corpse on the floor, folding her hands carefully over her chest before opening the unread message sent to him from his previous employer, Liara T'Soni. After reading the basic details of the message, he looked down at his wife's still form. Determination set in his jaw and a familiar haze crept into the outer rings of his vision. Feeling the cold detachment that was his battle sleep, Thane called the morgue.

 

**Shepard**

 

Shepard found herself sitting alone in the mess hall, a cup of hot chocolate in her hands growing cold. Try as she might, she just couldn't shake the dread of what was to come.

Even while in search of Wrex's family armor, the old memories of Virmire haunted her. She'd seen both Kaidan and Ashley die once, and she had also seen how they ended up becoming Spectres and doing well in staying out of her shadow.

They'd finally gone to Zhu's Hope after getting reports of geth activity, but she still hadn't received the call from the Council that would tell her of Virmire. The suspense was nauseating.

She recalled the main details — Kirrahe would be there, and would use his ship's drive core to prepare a makeshift nuclear bomb that would wipe out the breeding facility. Geth reinforcements would arrive right as she runs off to relieve the salarian captain, and whomever she chose to stay behind to activate the bomb would be killed in the explosion. It made sense to save whoever was with the captain — there were more people with him.

It's why she'd asked Tali to make a remote detonator this time, one that could override any manual input from the nuke. The plan was to have whoever stayed back at the bomb to come with her instead, but the quarian was having difficulties creating such a thing without more details, which Shepard reluctantly obliged. The younger engineer took the information with little suspicion, and whether it was due to her loyalty to the mission or lack of curiosity, she didn't ask for any more details other than the requirements of the remote. She couldn't promise that it would be ready any time soon, however.

The real question was this — could Shepard take the risk of using it and not knowing if it would work, in order to save one of the lives of her crew members? No matter what she tried in the past, she had always had to make a choice between the two, and with the weight of that choice, of her future knowledge, with what she was trying to do now, she realized why she lacked the memories of the deaths of her comrades.

This time, Talon would do almost anything to ensure their survival.

She sighed into her cup of cold chocolate, grimacing at its now thick and congealed texture, and went to reheat it.

"Hey, Shepard." She jumped at the sudden call of her name. Behind her was one of the people currently occupying her thoughts. Kaidan grabbed a mug from the counter beside her, filling it with prepared coffee. “You alright? You look like your dog just died," he joked, but when she failed to laugh he put down the cup, and placed a hand on her shoulder, concern reflecting in his brown eyes.

She took a slow, deep breath, steeling herself before meeting his gaze. "Just thinking about my parents, wondering if they'd be proud of me right now. You know, if they're even alive," she lied, feeling uncharacteristically pessimistic.

He wasn't buying it, but was kind enough to not call her out on the fib. "Ah, that's right. I forgot that..." He didn't finish his sentence, but she knew what he was going to say.

She was an orphan — she didn't really have parents, and not much was known about her life before the Alliance. Talon was the youngest person to complete the N7 program. It was before she was actually awarded the rank that the Alliance found out that she'd lied about her age upon enlistment.

She'd been raised on the streets of Earth in Atlanta, abandoned at a young age and left to fend for herself for as long as she could remember. She didn't know her parents, much less where they were. If they were even still alive.

She'd enlisted with the help of one Admiral Massani, who she'd tried to honey pot one night a long time ago. He said he saw potential in her, and even managed to call in a favor to have her signed on. Whether it was actually due to her potential, or his own sense of pity, she took him up on his offer and enlisted. Shepard was a month shy of sixteen then. When she was found out after nearly completing the N7 program, she was seventeen years old, her eighteenth birthday only a few days away.

It had caused an uproar with the brass of course, but it was Admiral Hackett and Commander Anderson who intervened on her behalf. They both claimed that she was smart enough to get past the system, brave enough to earn the Star of Terra during the Skyllian Blitz, and obviously had enough dexterity to complete the program at the top of her class.

She'd never had a write up, didn't get in trouble, and had a good head on her shoulders. She was a true hero — an Alliance poster child, or so they said.

It must have been enough, because they let her off with negligence of official documents and set her pay back for two months. She was allowed to wear her rank after she turned eighteen.

Now here she was, twenty four — according to this time line anyway — commanding a crew half a generation ahead of her. Her history wasn't common knowledge throughout the Alliance, but she was aware that Alenko knew. Even though Pressly was assigned as her XO, it was Kaidan who held the motivational title as second in command. He had to have done some reading on her. It wouldn't make sense not to.

"That I'm an orphan," she offered. The information didn't bother her as much as people would think. Of course she missed the times where a family may have mattered, like birthdays, Christmas or New Year's, adoption days — the only childhood memories she really had were spending cold days in the street or her time with the Reds, a street gang. "It isn't that much of a big deal, I was just pulling your leg," she continued.

The lieutenant didn't seem all that amused by the joke, but gave her a small grin nonetheless. "So then, what's really on your mind, if you don't mind my asking, Commander?"

"Commander," she repeated, as if the word were amusing. Taking a sip from her mug, she motioned for Kaidan to join her at the mess table to continue their conversation. "You don't have to be so formal on board, Kaidan," she offered once they sat down.

It was true, she gave the rest of her crew leniency while on board the Normandy. They were on a mission that could very well be their last. There was no need for added tension due to rank structure — at least she didn't think so. Not this time.

Kaidan lifted his mug to his lips. "Alright then, Shepard." He lowered his head for a moment and then met her eyes, and the look he gave her was something she couldn't describe. Foreign, caring almost.

It was then that she remembered his earlier flirtations a few days back. She had never gotten the chance to correct that slight. She liked Kaidan — he was a good soldier, got things done without being asked, and stepped forth as a leader in situations where she wasn't able. He was kind and, despite his romantic view on how the military should be, he was realistic and very reliable.

If she were honest, Kaidan would have been the perfect man for anyone — just not her. At least not now, not yet. Not when things were so messed up. She couldn't afford to think about love right now.

Talon wasn't even sure if she deserved it, but he most certainly did.

She remembered Kaidan telling her of a girl named Rahna during his training at BAaT, trying to master their biotics. Their instructor went too far and seriously harmed her, so Kaidan reacted, and the instructor died. Normally in that situation the girl would cling to her hero, and would live happily ever after right?

Instead, the woman he came to care for came to fear him, and did everything she could to make sure Kaidan stayed far away from her. The Lieutenant didn't blame her, just said a heart so full of love couldn't handle something as dark and absolute as death.

Talon herself couldn't understand that mentality. Death was normal in their lives as soldiers. Death was the main reason the Reapers came for them now — they thought it was the solution to stop the reign of chaos. No, it was the solution thought up by the Catalyst, that damn Star Child.

"Shepard?"

Talon blinked repeatedly at the sound of her name, waking up from her trance. "Ah," she chuckled softly, fingers twiddling at the end of her loose braid. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

She watched as his eyes narrowed, and although finding it uncomfortable, didn't object to him grabbing her hand, noticing how small hers were in his own. Shepard would have been ashamed to admit that she actually liked it.

"I'm not really good at things like this," he admitted, running his thumb over her knuckles, "but things are going to be okay. We'll get through this." He lifted their hands slightly off the table, motioning towards himself and then to her. "No pressure. I'll wait as long as it takes."

"Kaidan, we can't — "

He shook his head and dropped her hand gently, moving from the table. "Not right now, anyway," he said, refusing her rejection. "We can figure us out when this thing with Saren and the Reapers is over and done. I just wanted you to know that I care for you, Talon. If you ever need a shoulder, I'll be here."

She just watched as Kaidan walked away, unable to speak.

Was she correct in assuming that he was just asking her to consider them? Not necessarily a relationship, at least not right now?

This didn't help her stress levels at all. She hadn't even thought of Kaidan in that way until he started showing interest, and now she wanted to make sure she respected his feelings, and answered them earnestly, even if it meant she couldn't return them.

"Is it too much to ask for a simple friend?" Her thoughts immediately went to Garrus. On the last mission he'd seemed to relax more, joking with her and turning the hunt for Wrex's armor into a competition, counting off the pirates they took out. It was different, but not in a bad way. For the first time in what felt like years, she was able to have fun and forget about her problems with the Reapers. Simple, uncomplicated fun.

She shook her head at the thought and finished her cup. She'd found comfort in talking to the turian, seeing herself in his impatience, her old mistakes in his renegade ways, his need to prove himself, to make sure the bad guy didn't get away.

She couldn't hate him for it — it was almost laughable, how much of her old self she saw in him. But in looking at Garrus, and seeing how easy it was to show him an alternate way to achieving his goals, she found out something rather refreshing. She could change her way of thinking, too.

She knew that isolation was not the answer anymore, but Garrus had proved it. His attitude changed, as did his skills and dependability. She saw a leader in the turian, and thus saw a leader in herself.

"Commander, we'll be hitting port in about fifteen minutes," Joker spoke over the intercom.

_Finally_ , she thought, moving to her locker to grab her armor. The place was a little hectic to deal with, but from what she remembered she could cut down the casualties and time spent there by half if she used more members on the ground. "Do me a favor and tell everyone to meet me at the air lock. We're all going out."

"Expecting trouble?" The pilot's usual dry and bored tone raised an octave in obvious excitement.

"Just a hunch," she said, careful in not giving anything away.

The area around the airlock was a little crowded with her entire ground team and the various staff members. Six people, counting her — it was strange that Liara was not there with them, but right now that wasn't what the focus needed to be. Shepard was going to test fate a little with their mission today.

If she was right, everything should run smoothly. Besides the geth forces and controlled colonists they were about to encounter, everything was set up to run smoothly. If not, well... people would die. Nothing new.

"Team," she began, walking to the front of the small crowd and placing a hand on her hip. "It hasn't been that long since we lost Jenkins back on Eden Prime, where we encountered geth and husks. Today we're answering a distress signal sent from the Zhu's Hope colony and we have reports of geth activity. There's no telling what we'll find once we set foot on the colony, and given what we have had to deal with on Noveria, we won't know if anyone is under the influence of Saren's indoctrination." Shepard folded her arms across her chest, sighing. She'd stayed up all night trying to come up with explanations for how she planned to deal with Feros, and the exhaustion was slowly giving way to adrenaline.

There was no room for failure, even if this was a trial.

"Chakwas, I've already assigned you the task of putting together knockout gas mods for our grenades. Are they ready?"

The doctor inclined her head respectfully. "Yes they are, Commander. I've already had the equipment placed in your packs. There should be enough for about twenty charges, for anyone who is capable of using them."

"Good." Shepard grinned, then directed her attention towards Kaidan. "We're going to be as cautious as possible here. If the colonists are indoctrinated then we're going to do our best to minimize casualties. However, we are going to assume the zone is hot. If your life or the life of your teammate is in danger, then do what you need to do. Alenko, you'll be in charge of staying back with the colonists — figure out if they need any help with repairs or supplies. Take Williams and Tali. Garrus, Wrex you're with me."

She didn't miss the silent protest in Kaidan's eyes, but he maintained professional decorum and kept his comments to himself. Shepard wasn't the type to call someone out in front of a crowd, but she didn't miss the silent promise of confrontation. She was going to have to shut him down before it got out of hand.

_Later, later_ , she told herself. To the team, she said, "I've given each of you a knockout gas mod for your grenades. As soon as you notice that something is off with the colonists, release the canisters and knock everyone out, then alert me and my team will assist as soon as we can. The gas should be enough to keep them sedated for a few hours. Kill any other hostiles on sight."

Talon dismissed the rest of the crew, giving them orders to stay alert and keep all comm channels open in case they needed to send out emergency messages. Everyone stepped out, already arranged into their teams, locked and loaded for what awaited them.

 

Upon entering the colony and encountering their first wave of hostiles, Shepard gave the signal to Kaidan to keep watch over the colonists while her team went to hunt down the geth that had retreated back into the tower.

Since picking up Garrus to join her team, there hadn't been one instance where she regretted having the turian covering her back.

At first, to make things seem fair, she had everyone rotate out between missions, seeing who worked better with whom and for what situations. Her default right hand was always Garrus, while her left alternated between Wrex, Tali and Williams. But she found that Williams worked better if she was assigned with the krogan or Kaidan, even better than with Tali. It was a bit of a surprise, but gave the Commander hope that Williams could be cured of her mild xenophobia.

Garrus and Wrex were not having a slow day. Working at a good tempo, the trio was able to pass through the tower easily. Wrex would pull a group of enemies with his biotic field while Shepard helped pick them off. The geth snipers she left to Garrus. They'd made it to a stopping point after spotting a geth ship making its way to the ExoGeni HQ.

Shepard shook her head and Garrus let out a slow whistle at the size of it. "We should head back and let Fai Dan know what's going on," he offered, referring to the leader of the surviving colonists they'd met a while ago.

"Nah," she answered, pressing a hand to her communicator. "Hey Alenko, you copy? Give me a status update on the situation there. We caught sight of a geth dreadnought and are thinking of going in."

_"Read you loud and clear ma'am,"_ came his quick reply. _"Not much left here. Things calmed down a little after you left. I'm betting we have your team to thank for that."_

"Sure do," Wrex grumbled, letting Kaidan know that they weren't the only ones hearing the conversation.

Kaidan's tone sobered as he spoke, _"Unsurprisingly, the colonists have been cut off from water, food and need help with getting power reestablished. And while Fai Dan seems convinced that there are no survivors at the ExoGeni HQ..."_

"There's still a chance someone could be alive. I got it." Talon took a deep breath, starting the process to calm her flaring nerves, "We'll clear a way for you to get the supplies you need to help the colonists, and provide you with an update as we pass through."

_"Ah! Commander Shepard, before you go-!"_ Tali's voice interrupted over the radio, _"The geth should have established a communication hub somewhere in the area. Disabling it should severely limit their ability to share information among themselves."_

"Got it." Shepard nodded an affirmative and glanced towards her teammates to ensure they all understood what the machinist was saying. "We're heading out. If something goes wrong and all hell breaks loose, _do not_ come in after us. Spray the colonists and get back to the ship until you receive orders. If we're not out in eight hours, we're dead."

The channel was closed once everyone acknowledged her orders. Talon was about to head out, until she noticed the questionable look Garrus had been giving her. Wrex didn't seem to care.

"What?" she asked, a little self-conscious.

"Nothing," Garrus muttered with a grin. "Just have to get used to this habit you have of covering our asses in every way possible."

She snorted and began their prowl into the deeper confines in the tower. "Enjoy it while you can, Vakarian. It's a luxury that's sure to run out one of these days."

 

\-------

 

Shepard watched as the asari commando talked with Arcelia Martinez, Fai Dan's body guard, shortly after their brief and disturbing battle with the Thorian. She was, to say the least, disappointed in the turn of events. She'd managed to save everyone else. Kaidan did well to make sure the colonists were knocked out once their communications were cut, and even provided back up when the thralls rose to protect the Thorian.

But she'd still lost Fai Dan — the colonist leader chose the path of suicide before the gas grenade could reach him. It was irritating. Frustrating, almost maddening.

If she couldn't save Fai Dan from himself, how could she hope to keep both Kaidan and Ashley alive? On top of that, she had hoped to gain more information from the cipher that Shiala, the asari commando, shared in her mind. Given what she knew now, the Commander hoped that she could see something different. But there'd been nothing new.

 

When they all loaded onto the ship, claps and small cheers echoed in the small halls. While the crew began to wind down and prepare for takeoff, Shepard moved to the cockpit, when she heard her name.

"Yeah, Joker? I was about to take a much-needed shower."

"Hey, I feel you, Shepard. I can smell you from all the way over here," the pilot joked while tinkering with the ships controls. "But I figured I should let you know that the Council is waiting for an update on what happened here. Plus, they said they had a new lead you may want to follow."

And there it was.

Even if Joker knew the details, she didn't need much confirmation on what that lead would be. And after speaking with the Council, she realized her fears were beginning to take their part in her life. The distress signal from Virmire, one of the few things she wasn't looking forward to.

After the briefing she took a quick shower, threw her hair in a wet braid, and headed straight for the CIC. "Joker." She tried her best to hide the disdain for her voice as she spoke, and knew she failed from the way the crew looked at her.

For whatever reason, the hellish Commander was back and in no mood to play. "Set a course for Virmire." She crossed her arms over her chest, a hard look marring her features as she stared at the galaxy map. "We're leaving as soon as possible."

 

**Liara**

 

"You want me to... _what_?"

 

Liara T'Soni stared at the image of Kasumi Goto. The thief was positively fuming at what had been asked of her. When they returned from their trip in Mindoir, the girl had done well in remaining under the radar — it was hard for Liara to contact her even using the same channels. But from the reports that Feron had given her, Mindoir hadn't been a pretty sight. A lot of humans died that day and from what she'd seen on the galactic news, very few were even lucky enough to be orphaned.

The batarians had almost managed to make off with an entire colony of humans — when the Alliance caught up with the fleeing ships, the batarians dumped their cargo into space and rabbited out of the system. Only one child was found alive among the corpses on the planet. And even with so many bodies found, there were still colonists who couldn't be accounted for.

The whole thing was so messy that Liara actually felt a little relief that they actually managed to do some good in their little venture.

Kasumi wanted more information on the little girl, but everything was locked down and classified, probably to protect the survivors. Liara had finally managed to get a hold of Kasumi — well, in reality it had been Kasumi who found Liara — when it was made clear that it was an object she wanted, and that civilians wouldn't be involved.

The job, however, was still rather complex. Liara explained it to the thief multiple times, although she was beyond certain that Kasumi understood the first time she explained the plan.

"I want you to steal the relay monument from the Citadel, replace it with a provided replica, smuggle the real one off the station, and deliver it to the coordinates of the freighter I gave you. Within the next three days."

Though Liara knew Kasumi understood what was to be done, the thief remained silent. She turned her head, silence in the background even though her lips were moving. Kasumi must have disconnected the audio, more than likely to speak to her partner Keiji who would have to assist her in the project.

 

There was a small ping, alerting Liara that the audio was being reconnected from Kasumi's communicator. "Okay, besides sounding a bit crazy, this is nearly impossible and while I hate to admit it, we'll need help. Taking this as a two man job would be rather difficult, to say the least."

"I know it seems impossible," Liara sighed into the comm, "that's why I'm willing to pay as much as you need in order for this to happen." Liara wished then that she would receive some kind of correspondence from Thane. She hadn't been able to contact the assassin for the last week or two. She'd sent him the request, encrypting the instructions, but had yet to receive a reply.

"Ah, however, I said it'd be _nearl_ y impossible. I can do it... I just won't do it for credits."

The asari narrowed her eyes, her voice steady, "What else would you require?"

"A favor." The human shrugged. "It's easy to tell what your goals are, and you seem to be a woman who knows what she wants... and how she's going to get it. Once you come into power, I want one favor. It pays to have you in my pocket, if only for a little while."

There had to be worse things than owing one of the most notorious and insightful thieves in the galaxy. But the price matched the demand, so to speak, and she wasn't willing to pry and find out how exactly Kasumi was keen on her plan to overtake the Shadow Broker.

 

It was then she realized that she hadn't been as deft in covering her tracks as she should have been. Feron was still a Shadow Broker agent after all — Liara was still busy acquiring power and building allies. The asari was lucky that Kasumi had a client confidentiality agreement. It could only be broken if she was captured and absolutely had no way of escaping.

"That will be fine, provided you can do what I ask of you...as far as help— " Liara's omni tool vibrated, notifying her of an incoming message. Normally, she would ignore them when discussing business, but the sender was relevant to their ongoing conversation. "Actually, I think I just found someone for you."

 

The image of Kasumi minimized as another figure came into view. It was Thane.

His arms remained folded behind his back as always, but his usual relaxed charm was replaced by something dark and menacing. "Thane, it's good to see you again," Liara said with a gentle smile. "We were just discussing the details of the mission."

"Krios?" Kasumi looked between herself and the drell. "I thought there weren't going to be casualties on this mission."

"There aren't," Thane replied coolly, "but my skills in espionage would also be helpful for this assignment." He spoke for himself, not even taking the time to look at Kasumi. "The mission itself is concerning. However, if you can provide what I asked, I will consider it payment."

"I can give you the names," Liara replied, "but it'll have to wait until after I acquire certain resources that I currently don't have."

"Ah yes, your ambitious climb to power. If all you need is time, then I can wait until you ascend your throne."

_Oh great, he knew too_. "How is it that you two know what it is that I'm planning? I may have been sloppy in the beginning, but not enough to where this is common knowledge."

Human and drell stole a quick glance with one another. Kasumi placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head to the side, while Thane nodded, a grin on his lips that didn't reach his eyes. "Indeed, it isn't common knowledge. I wouldn't worry too much, since I'm not being paid to work against you," the assassin answered simply.

"And I'm not one to bite the hand that feeds me," Kasumi offered. "Secrets are most valuable when they are kept. You give me what I ask for, and mum's the word." She made a locking motion over her lips and gave an honest smile.

Liara took a mental note to look up what the term 'mum' meant, and with little time on her side she keyed a few entries into the console while continuing her instruction. "With Mr. Krios on board, that should make your mission possible. I also have a few sources who work on the inside that will be helping you. Kasumi and Keiji will be the main ones to work on getting the monument out. Mr. Krios, you'll make sure they are covered and get them out if they are captured. It is absolutely imperative that no one is captured and that the monument is off the station within the next three days. If anything changes, I'll be sure to contact you. Do you have any questions?"

She was satisfied when they didn't have any. Once the conversation was over she closed the comm and wiped her terminal clean of all the data, removed the hard drive chip and network drives, running magnets over them and then finally sending them through a shredder, only satisfied once she inserted new chips into her computer.

 

The relief didn't quite reach her shoulders. A short while before she'd received the call from Kasumi, she'd gotten a message from Shepard in regards to her assigned mission on Virmire. Although Shepard's message had been cryptic and rather vague, the doctor's mind was filled with the memories of her return to the SR-1.

The confusion after she obtained her memories, the stares from the ship's crew at her sudden transformation, and the laughable reproach she received from the other asari after her arrival on Illium — all of these things raced through her brain. Although no one laughed at her now. With the information she held and the resources she'd obtained, she was considered an unpredictable force to be reckoned with. Even the most seasoned information brokers came to her now for jobs they had a hard time completing — for a small fee, of course.

Now here she sat, left with nothing but her thoughts.

She hated idle time, hated not having anything to do. Liara had worked hard to get to where she was today, but now the future was somewhat out of her hands. The die was cast and it was up to Shepard to get over the first wave of demons that threatened to plague her — namely, Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams.

"And after that..." Liara twirled a pen through her fingers, thinking of all the past conversations she had with Shepard, about the humans' previous mistakes and mishaps. She'd go to Virmire, lose either Kaidan or Ashley to the bomb. Ever since her first encounter with the Collectors, she'd do her best to avoid a second death and the revival given to her by Cerberus. In past timelines, that had brought the war to their doorstep a little sooner, and everyone had to fight the Reapers and the Collectors at the same time.

She stopped the pen mid-twirl. _We always failed rather quickly, according to Shepard_. And it made sense now — according to the Commander, the Collector base gave rise to a new wave of technology within the ranks of both Cerberus and the Alliance.Somehow, Shepard always found a way to convince the Council that the Reapers were indeed a threat, so she may not have felt a need to go through that whole mess again... but they always failed quickly.

A soft snap broke Liara's train of thought, dark blue ink now smeared on her hands. She stared at the blotch, watching it run down her fingers, staining her green dress. A flash of Garrus dying in the medical bay entered her mind, blood dark and blue. She remembered his last words.

Even though he was alive and well now, it still haunted her dreams. She couldn't bear to look him in the eye when she realized she had gone back in time. Couldn't stand the feeling of failure. She had been recruited because of her knowledge of the Protheans, but everything they did, everything she found was always too late, their military too small or their tech too primitive.

"Primitive technology," she drawled, then a sudden flood of thoughts entered her mind. She struggled to grasp it and form it into what she needed, and her eyes went wide in realization. " _She has to die_."

 

The sad but resolute truth rang loud in her mind. Everything that happened, everything that changed only took place due to Shepard's death. Her prior heroics were great, but to have the Commander brought back from the dead did enough to get her to where she needed to go. With Cerberus's assistance, Shepard had been able to upgrade their weaponry, technology and overall knowledge of the Reapers and Collectors. There was no telling what other impacts Shepard made that could have benefited them.

After all, the most successful timeline Talon claimed to have was her first one — the main difference was that she had, to quote the commander, " _a stick up her ass_ ".

"She has to die." Liara couldn't hear the sound of her own voice over the words flooding through her mind. Possibilities, solutions, different variables and alternatives to what she thought would be the beginning to solving their problems. But nothing that would give the same effect as Shepard becoming a martyr for the cause.

Liara released a breath she didn't know she was holding, sighing out in a defeated tone, "By the Goddess." She sincerely hoped that Virmire worked out for her old friend. She'd need a cushion for the news Liara planned to deliver.


End file.
